i’m like alot of people. sexually abused, drug addicted (but not using now), on meds, been in hospitals, tried to kill myself alot of times, cutter, can’t keep job very long, the usaul stuff the bi-polar people have and do. I’ve talked and talked, nothing helps. I always end up back at the same place. To die or try one more time. This time it’s different, i don’t have it in me to try any more. I live in a bad area and in the back of my head i wish one of the gun shots i hear would come at me. You see i’ve done everything that all the professionals have said and non-professionals too, it does not make the pain of living go away. It’s just time. But i’m afraid, not of dying, but not succeding.