pregnant through incest – how do I get over this?

Hello, I don’t know your name, if it’s ok I’m going to call you Alice. I am 55, suicidal but not selfish enough to be enveloped in my own hopelessness right now.
I am sure that just lately you have had that horrid realisation that actually no matter what, ultimately, we are born alone and we die alone? Well, ok that is true, however, as everyone else is in the same boat, there are so many people that want to make the inbetween bit ok, if you want it, you really are not alone today.
Stuff that has happened to you isn’t good. I suspect that you just wish it would disappear, go away and not result in people going into huge stressies and causing more problems.
Family is family. It is almost impossible to feel that anything could be better than your own mum and dad.
Alice, (I hope that name is ok), I understand you are frightened and no way want to take responsibility for the consequences of revealing what has happened to you. No matter what dad does, he is still your dad and there is that part of you that loves him.
If it all comes out, there is always the possibility that rehabilitation, counselling and help will bring your mum and your dad back to where it all should be. Who knows what things happened to them in the past to allow them to feel justified to have done what they have done? We don’t know, both of them could have gone through horrific situations. It is no excuse for what has happened to you, it really has to stop, however, it may be a start for healing.
I have only ever suffered mental abuse from a parent, I am 55 now and it has ruined my life. That is because I have somehow allowed it to, instead of waking up and making it stop before it destoyed me.
You do not need to have police cars etc turning up at the house, I know how scary that would be. Alice, it is nearly 4 pm, still light, weather not too bad and I hope the day you decide ‘this is enough’. Maybe you are older now and not a child now, whatever, it may be time to deal with stuff.
Is there a special neighbour, nan, grandad, aunty living nearby? If so, can you print out what you have written, perhaps my reply and go now to see them? Have you a teacher, workmate, boss, anyone you feel safe to talk to?
There are the agencies, samaritans, childline, poice family support units etc but I suspect you are scared of not being taken seriously. Please reply here if you don’t feel you can do any of this but want to talk more. You can sort this, you don’t deserve any of this

Hi
I hope you’re still out there and that you read this message.

I’m Irene and I run the http://www.StopFamilyViolence.org website.

I hear the shame and pain that you’re feeling right now.

I have talked to other young women that have had the same thing happen to them. You are not alone.

And you are not to blame for what other people did to you. They are. You and your baby didn’t deserve what happened to you.

I know you wanted it to stop and that you did your best to stop it. If you could have done more, you would have. You did everything you could.

If you want to talk please contact me thru the StopFamilyViolence.org website
http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/about-us/contact-us
Send your phone number and I will call you and we can talk.
It’s ok if all you can do is cry – sometimes crying is a way of talking too.

Or if you want, we can just email thru my webform.

If you don’t want to contact me here are some other resources that can help.

Rape Abuse and Incest National Network
Toll free, confidential, 24 hrs
visit http://www.rainn.org for live chat or call
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
This hotline is for advice, information and to clarify options. It is not the same as reporting the abuse. You don’t need to give your name or name of the abuser to talk.
Toll free, confidential, 24 hrs.
1-800-4- A-CHILD

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Confidential.

Hope this helps.

Irene