It has been 1 year and 1 day since I first registered on this site.
My issue was, my girlfriend of 1.5 years, the longest relationship I’d ever know, left me. I had given up jobs, promising careers, and opportunities to be with her, and she tossed it, tossed me, to the wind like dust. Within 2 weeks of this breakup, I had gone to visit her to return some of her posessions she wanted. I’d discovered that she “hooked up” with a guy the night before, someone whom I thought was my friend. Her and this guy got engaged 2 weeks after that. Their wedding date was last September if I recall correctly. Bad news after bad news kept rubbing salt in a wound not letting it heal.
One year later and I’m not fully recovered but making excellent progress. If I could find someone worth it, I think I’d date them. I’m not looking hard though, my heart still occasionally aches and I still miss what we once had from time to time. I try not to think about her too often, because even our good memories sting me. I think the emotional wounds I suffer can only be cured by a woman’s touch.
Throughout the course of this last year I’ve experienced a lot of lows. My friends, ever last one of them, would abandon me whenever I was feeling down. I can’t really blame them, I would make them feel down my mood was contagious. Still, all I ever asked for was support and I couldn’t get it from anyone but myself. I had to find the strength within myself to percevere. It was through this I had found the strength to maintain and pick myself up. This all, through many setbacks.
With my friend’s abandoning me I found myself, even now, spending more and more time interacting with people over the internet and not in real life. After a 3 month period of not leaving my house my parents asked me to accompany them to Wal-Mart for shopping. I think they were worried about me. It was on this trip I’d discovered I developed sociophobia. It felt like all the people were staring at me lilike I was some sort of freak. I knew this to be irrational and put it aside and again found strength within myself to percevere, even with this condition being months old and even with myself becoming slowly more social with people. I still don’t feel completely comfortable.
Over this time I have learned many things. I want to share them with you so that you might find the strength within yourself to percevere like I have. 1) Never take anything you have for granted, you can lose it in an instant. 2) Bad things happen to good people all the time. Long-term depression comes from never moving on past an event. You must learn to deal with your situation and move on. If you caused the event, make ammends as best you can and live with knowing you’ve done your best. If someone else caused the event, know that it wasn’t your fault, that there is nothing wrong with you, that you’re a good person, and that you need to seperate yourself from this person. 3) There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The journey will only be as long and dark as you make it. 4) A vast majority of suicidal people don’t want to kill themselves, they want to kill the pain. With this knowledge you know that there are solutions to your problem other than killing yourself. You need to find a way to deal with your problem and not do something that is just going to pass the pain off to those who care about you by killing yourself. 5) In relationships, you need to learn to forge your own path and let those who can, walk that path with you. Don’t ever give up your hopes and dreams for someone, you can find love with a new person if that person does not want to allow you to reach a level of satisfaction and happiness about yourself that many people never experience in life.
I know my journey through darkness is not over. I keep going because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. When I find it, I will emerge happier, better, and smarter than ever before. I will not repeat past mistakes. I hope my advice has helped you all.