A question

June 26th, 2009by overstayed

Ok I  read here a lot and have posted here when  I have been feeling way off he planet, which is increasing often now. I feel “ok” right now. But there are some things I want to know.

1st this is how it is:

Not always but in the mornings when I wake up can feel like a light switch in my brain has been switched off.     Feels/sounds like dousing a match in water like. Like  waking up and then just deflating  (Always Followed by nonfunctional bad days)
Generally  allways being “aware” that im sad / horrible / hurting all the time. Not fitting in.( I would call this feeling normal or ok ) But the thinest ice away from visible emotion cracking down.

Feeling incredibly good. “Happy”  for for  hours or sometimes days.  Then most usually followed right after by feeling shattered miserable as low as possible craving an immediate end.

Other times. Generally Feeling rotton worthless and thinking myself into a such a horrible mess just to feel a little “ok” afterwards. 🙁

Here is the question though:

If you can relate to the above. If you have gotten help (or know of someone else), and been prescribed medication.  What did it do for you?  Does it make you happy? Does it make you level?  Does it stop the anxiousness the  darkness. Does it make you ok.   Does it make you functional like could I go find a job knowing I am not likely to need to disapear randomly to try and level out like?  Or did it do bad?

Why do I ask.  Because some times I dont want to die.

Thankyou if you reply.

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