I haven’t really been feling well. Which isn’t out of the ordinary for me. Last night it got back and I was in a lot of pain. So I went to the ER. I brought to the doctors attention that I might be pregnant.
I am on birth control. I am sexually active. Even with birth control I still use condoms. Well one night the guy that I have been sleeping with, didn’t use a condom. And all it took was that one time.
Well they ran tests. The only that came back positive was my pregancy test. The pain I was in was due to the pregnancy. Im having trouble this time because, over a year ago I had an abortioin. Even that time I was on birth control, but I guess it’s my luck.
Well the doctor wanted me to take it easy, get sleep, and try to stay relaxed. Well the relax part is hard. Im always under stress.Â I guess with me being under so much stress, not sleeping right, going out all the time, and the previous abortion, it’s all taking a toll on my body. If i don’t stop there is a big chance ofÂ a misscarriage.
I texted the guy that Im pregnant by and told him what was going on. Well he wants a kid but not by me. And I feel the same way. He suggested abortion. I just lost it on him. There is no way I can put myself through that.
I just want to cry but I can’t. I want to scream, but when I open my mouth nothing comes out.
IM JUST SO LOST AND CONFUSED. I’m going to live up to what I did. I mean it was my choice. Im open to adoption even an open adobtion. Im 19, I have big plans in life. That doesn’t really include a child at the moment. I know this time around I can go through the pregancy meantal and physically. I just want this child to have a good life.