Hello there. My name’s Jessica. My age, ill say is under an adult, by far. Any ways, im here to tell you. if there is any listeners. i suppose not. but i will go on. im at quite a young age, and im very depressed. i was led to fall in love with this amazing girl. yes, girl. and she played to love me bakc for a while, and i had to sit there and watch her get like 3 different boy friends and after each one crushed her i was there to lean on for a bit. and that was that. i got so depressed from loving her and not being able to have her thatÂ i just shut down, emotionally, physically, everything. i stopped caring, i sucked at soccer, my room was a toxic dump, my apparance wasÂ trashed and i started cutting my self, daily. my mom kept accusing me of looking like i was on drugs and being miserable all the time. my group of friends put me out. and i was alone for a while before i met that girl i loved. every thing was going wrong. my dad called me fat and i was getting fatter and fatter every day, he’s a havy alchoholic (sometimes) and can get rough with my mother but not a lot of the time. more so in the past. myÂ sister moved out for a time which also contribuited with the cutting. she also made me fell worthless. i felt like shit most of the time. i had no oneÂ to love and i totall of like 3 “friends”. but anyways, i’ve contiplated suicide many times. i’ve thought about OD and hanging myself, but iÂ just couldnt. i feel like my life sucks tho. we are strugguling to keep our house, i’ve been beaten a little by my sykotic mother, who claims shes fine and IM THE SYKO ONE. They also think i may have bipolar disorder or something. i ffeel like shit. and as for the girl, i still dont got her. every one calls me a freak at school and i feel no love. thats all i want love. i need it. and im just not getting any. not from any one. not now not ever. and thats why i want to just go away.im done. and i cant take it anymore.