I look back at my life and I realize there a lot of things that have happened in my life and I’m not sure why. My dad left us. I had a childhood infatuation with a boy who liked my best friend. MY grandpa fell sick. Mom and I moved back in with Dad, and Dad is always trashing me, telling me ot b more useful. MY grandpa died. I got addicted to cutting. I tried swallowing too many pills. I tried drugs. I survived. I fell in love with a guy who liked another. He now tells me not to trust anyone, after I subtly hinted to him, that I trusted him a lot. I feel hollow. I feel like a failure. I want to end this. I imagine someone pulling a gun at my head and being shot. I imagine falling off a cliff. I imagine a car colliding with me on the road. Yet it never happens. I failed not only at life, but also ending my life.
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3 comments
Hello,
what happened to you – well, it is not something personal against you. It is one of many things that are part of life (they are many nicer, of course) It happens – people die and parents leave each other much more often that is healthy for their children. And that makes child very insecure – even when you are adult. I would suggest to contact some therapist or counselor before really ruminate suicide as an option – the death is forever and cant be changed, it is final and in life you still can do something. Actually there are lot possibilites and to judge some it is good to have some professional listening to you.
And – you have not failed in your life – you are still alive – who knows what life brings to us and what we bring into life?
Wish you the best, Hugo
i know how you feel pal
THANK GOD!! Thats all I can do is thank him! You should be happy you cnat end your life! Thats a sign…your not cable of suicide. Its not a pleasent thing…. I dont understand why you want to kill yourself, ive probaby been under twice as much pressure as you. Please re consider kiiling yourself ….it would be a shame to see another person throw their life away.