im new to this site so i dont really no what to write but ima start out with
this im olivia im 16 years old and i dont really have a lot of friends i choose
to be that way and it sucks on me.i have soical phobia disorder so its really hard
to make friends or even go to school in middle school every thing was great and now being in
high school sucks i came from a very small private middle school and everyone called it
so call rich white poeple school i dont liek dat becuz i am black
(jamaican amarican ) but lots of poeple calls me a oreo and it really hurts
i guess i just really wish i had friends to call and talk to i hate the way
things are only guys seem to liek me but girls just hate me i dont show off i
dont talk bout any body at all and still they just never talk to me and everytime
i enter a room there talking bad things about me and i no cuz there saying my name
or pionting and laughing...not to long ago i was dating this great guy and a group
of girls went and told him lies and made him break up with me i wassooo sad
i dident go to school for weeks and weeksbut had to cuz i needed to pass and
i cant let them get to me dat bad.now 2009 im dating this really great guy its
been 7 monthsalmost and i really love him alot but all my low low low self asteem
is really driving him away and hes been with me threw alot of things i no know
other guy would hes seen me in bad shape cutting my slef to the piont where i
had to go to a doctor and he stayed tha whole night by my side and i really thanked
him for dat now i keep acusing him of cheating and i can tell its driving him
away and hes like only thing i have in my life dats good besize my family i just
dont no anymore=(
3 comments
Try to figure out why you are sabotaging this relationship. Are you trying to push him away before he has a chance to reject you first. Clearly you don’t feel loved or accepted, to the point that you don’t believe that you deserve those things. Have you tried counseling? It might help you to sort out your identity. Who you believe you are, who your friends/family believes you are, what the low life people in your town are trying to make you believe, and who you want to become. Identity crisis 101. I hope this helps. If the boy loves you and wants to help you, you should be grateful and let him help. Sounds like he really is a great guy.
i agree with bill, try and see what it is that is making you drive him away. or maybe you just need to really find someone you can talk to. like maybe a therapist who can help you find who you are. and by the sounds of him i dont think hes cheating your just worried about being hurt again but just try and feel lighter and look at it in the light. itll get better
i can relate to the low self esteem driving people away, im still dealing with that problem. dont let it ruin something that sounds really great. im just starting therapy and meds, so i cant vouch for them from experience, but theyre worth a shot, right?