I’m not aware of how this whole thing works, and if I’m making a complete fool of myself oh well. I am not begging for sympathy or anything, but i just want to vent.
Please do not message me saying your too young for this. It’ll just support my reasons for committing suicide. Age shouldn’t matter.
I am 13 years old. You all must be thinking what a psycho this girl is. Why would a thirteen year old want to die? Well I’ll tell you.
My family fights. My brother and mother. And there’s not a thing i can do about it.
My brother hits my mom. He’s 18 years old and does drugs, smokes, and barely goes to school. I love my brother. He can pass off for the perfect brother. He loves me, he cares for me, and he plays with me. But He hates my mom.
I love my mommy so much. More then anyone in this world. And she loves me back.
My mom loves my brother though. so she doesn’t want to do anything when he hits her. She still thinks of him has her little boy. They used to be best friends when he was little. Â My brother has almost killed my mom several times though. We called the police on him one. Last year. And he was in jail for a day. Wow. The police thought he was too nice and he couldn’t possibly have attacked my mother.
Yes, i know how unfair. I want my brother to be in jail. Though i love him, i love my mom more. And i’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe. My dad does nothing about any of this, he just sits on his computer all day playing solitaire. And my two sisters are on the phone with there boyfriends when my mother and brother are fighting. My sisters only come into the fight if my brother hits my mom. But they do like nothing. Just stand there with there phones ready.
I am the only one who cares. When they fight i stand in between them. Last time my brother hit my mom he said “It feels good hurting you. Do you want me to end your life?” Which makes me cry every time i think about it.
I ask my mom to allow me to call the police on him when he attacks her, but she doesn’t give me permission. I beg her and cry to her, and explain what it’s like growing up with my brother abusing my mommy, worrying every second if my brother has hit my mom in the time i’ve been at school. I’m scared to go to my friends houses, incase my brother does something to my mom. I have to carry rosary beads around with me just to give myself hope that nothing has happened.
My brother hitting my mom, it’s not like its every day. or Every week. its sometimes like once every few months? But they fight a lot. Screaming and yelling. My mom getting pissed at him for doing drugs and stealing her money.
My brother has seriously hurt my mom though. Throwing her into walls, pushing her down the stairs, attacking her with a vacuum. It’s not fair. I’m scared. I’m always scared. Every second of every day. Will my brother kill my mom? Maybe I’ll just kill myself before anything happens. That will surely stop the fighting.
Will there fighting ever end? Please God. Please.
10 comments
I don’t think your age has much to do with it either. You seem like a very mature and intelligent 13-year-old. What you’re going through no one should have to go through, at any age. It sounds like your brother really needs help. Prison won’t help him, and might actually make him worse. As much as you want him to go to prison so he’ll leave your mother alone, that won’t solve the problem, just postpone it for awhile. The best thing to do is try to get your brother help. You said he loves you; perhaps you can try talking to him. Ask him to get help. He seems to enjoy beating up your mother, and I can’t even fathom the reason for that, but I can guess it has something to do with his drug abuse. He’s obviously fallen into a bad state. No matter the reason, he needs counseling and rehab. I’m not sure what you’ve already done to try to stop this besides interfering during the fight, but try to appeal to your brother. Perhaps you’ll get through and show him how much he’s hurting himself and the others around him by his actions. I’m sure he doesn’t want to see you hurt or kill yourself. Be honest with him, and perhaps he’ll change his ways. Best of luck and stay safe!
You are not too young. I’ve gone through the same exact thing. Sis does drugs and gets in fights with mom. Had to call the police on her once. That was when I was about 16 but I’ve been suicidal since I was real little, so don’t worry, you’re anything but immature. You are strong and right now that is exactly what everyone in your family needs: someone strong enough to say that what is going on is wrong. Have you talk to your sisters and your dad about it? Try to and maybe they’ll help you help your brother and mother. Your mother needs to know that letting her son hit her doesn’t show her love for him, it shows weakness in his eyes. Now what I am about to say may seem cruel, but it is true: your brother will only change for good when he wants to change. You can’t force him to, but you can point him in the right direction, but don’t try to do this alone. Your whole family needs to work together on this. No one wants to see you die. That will not solve anything. Trust me, I’ve tried. You seem way stronger than you give yourself credit for, by the eay. The world needs more strong women in the world, so please, please don’t kill yourself. God bless, and be safe. You’ll be in my prayers.
hi, I havent even read the whole thing yet, but I must say, you’re NOT to yong! I’m 13 and have been thinking suicide a lot lately, but I’m really shure that things’ll be better! so keep living and hope and belive that everything will become better!
Hi, Mechanical and rose put it nicely.
I just wish to add that it may be the good idea to contact some counselor in the school if possible or to find another professional help, it is very hard for anybody to solve things that you ve described alone. I do not know where do you come from, but some professional help should be available (counselor, psychologist, social worker etc).
Im very sorry that you have to live through this, do not give up, I wish you all the best, lot of strenght, Hugo
thank you all. So much.
But the counseling thing, it doesn’t work. He’s been to it before, and nothing seems to help him. I try to talk to him, but I’m scared that he’ll hit me if i tell him how i feel. I told him once, right after he hit my mom one day, i told him to not come down stairs or come near mom. That will just make it worse.
He said that when he gets into fights with my mom he said it feels like some person took over his body. What do you think that means? Is he being literal?
If you have any thoughts on what he’s talking about please message me back. Maybe if i understand what he’s talking about i might be able to fix it.
Sometimes we become so overwhelmed by emotion that it can feel like we aren’t in control of our own bodies.
It’s possible that he feels intense anger (possibly due to his own internal sadness or feelings of worthlessness) and lashes out at others. Once he loses his temper he can no longer think rationally – so he feels “out of control”.
It may also be due to chemical imbalances. Unforuntately, it’s hard to say without speaking to him directly or having him go to a doctor and getting physical and psychological tests.
Take care Sophia.
I’m 13 to my mom and dad get in fights all the time and I’m scared of him he makes my depression worse he’s doesn’t even know!!!! I’m so scared of him that he’ll hurt me or my mom he’s threatened more than once. And I’m afraid I feel so sorry for u I wish I could b there 2 comfort u. U should tell ur mom and brother then mayb it will stop I wish all ur pain could be transferred 2 me
emogirl…what an awesome, selfless thing to say “I wish ur pain could be transferred to me”…..it is amazing how those of us on this site can recognize the severity of the pain someone else is going through and then desperately want to help that person..but we can’t seem to apply that same help to ourselves…you are awesome!
Thanx kurt the thing is I wanna die but I want everyone else 2 live I wish every single persons sorrow would all fill my heart so everyone in the world could be happy. I want all of us 2 come together and help each other so that we can put in end 2 the pain by holding on with each other by our sides
youre not too young. and if you truly care for your family you wouldnt commit suicide. that guilt would just hang over them for the rest of their lives.
but, you also shouldnt take your life because your only 13! there are sooo many thing you have time to do!
Your entire life is ahead of you, high school! college! all AMAZING experiences youll never have if you take your own life.
you should try to talk to someone like a school counsler or something. Theyre almost all confidential. And if youre scared of your brother killing your mother have you tries talking to him??
And if it is that bad then maybe he should move out. Youd still get to soo him, but you wouldnt have to worry about him killing your mom.