My dad’s job makes us move around alot and i’ve finally had enough, I can’t take losing all my friends over and over again. I started cutting a while bck, after my grandad ahd died, and sme teachers noticed it and put me into counciling which helped for a while but then a teacher who was realli helping me deal with everythink, she wasn’t judging me or anythink like that but she seems to have forgotten about me and once again I’m left alone with no-oneto talk to no-one to lean on or nothink. I feel as if I’m invissible. My friends talk about me behind my bck, I’m getting constantly bullied and most teachers seem to preety much hate me. I can’t stand being on my own anymore and suicidal thoughts are once again plaguing my mind. I have to cry myself to sleep every night. I’m stuck in this mad world, suffercating by everythink. I wana get out!!! xxxxxx
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Dear Friend: You’re having a bad depression, and its been made worse by repeatedly losing friends, and being placed in new communities by your dad’s career.
That is very tough.
It’s like your brain has got the flu, and your outside circumstances aren’t helping any.
But you can live through this and get through to a better life. Remember that when someone is depressed, their brain tells them many negative things — a lot — which aren’t always true.
Ask the teacher you first talked with if she can help you go back to counseling. If she can’t or won’t help you, contact a guidance counselor, and say that you need a therapist.
Once you get a therapist, perhaps an anti-depressant medication might help. or just talking.
There are also good books on depression that you can buy, like David Burns’ “Feeling Good,” which have ideas on how to deal with depressing feelings.
Also, if you are unhappy with your current school, ask if you can be transferred to another one. I know you are tired of change, but bullying can be very demoralizing.
You don’t mention whether you feel that you can talk with your parents or not. If you can talk with your parents, and they will listen, it might help.
Remember that high school is probably the toughest time in anyone’s life. Even people who look happy in high school are often lonely and insecure, and just hiding their real feeings.
Plan ahead for when you will be 18, and have more control of your life. Try to do at least one positive thing for yourself every day.
And please don’t cut yourself. You’ll need your body for a happier life in the future.
Cordially,
Struggling to Survive (been there)
Hello
I moved a lot too. Eventually I came accross an article talking about adventurers. These people did extreme sports. Brave couragous daring. But when they came back home they felt unsafe, paranoid, depressed, losers. They are going through choc syndrome.
Knowing that, will not give you back friends you left behind. The good news is other people who are supposed to be superpeople, struggle with displacement crisis. Cross cultural crisis. I am told that moving, is the 2nd highest on the list of stress factor. Give yourself a break and know that you are normal. Your breakdown is totally normal. This said, there are good books out there to help you through. Choose your pick.
I found keeping in touch with friends through Facebook , Skype, and email among others makes me feel I am still with them. At least we share our lives and a good laugh. And if anyone is sad we are there for each other. It is so important to keep in touch with people. Make the first step or the effort if it has to come from you!
Other thing is to find an international community. SOme activities have organized groups that have an international presence. I dance tango. Anywhere I go there is always a tango community. My friend plays Rugby. Another sails. Some play in amateur theatre. Others sing. There are other people in your situation. Find them and hang out!
And do find the courage to talk about it to your dad. Maybe offer your dad a solution so he does not feel so guilty or whatever. Maybe tell your dad that because you are constantly losing your friends and have to make new friends you have less energy to study well. And that going to visit your friends again, or set time to chat with them as part of your daily routine should be considered homework! After all friendship is part of a healthy social life.
Good luck with all!
Christine B.