Offering Hope

Fellow Sufferers:

I’ve lived with Bipolar Type 2 since I was 12 years old.  It is a form of manic-depression in which you don’t usually have psychotic problems, but you do have major mood swings — mild “ups” (hypomanias) followed by normal periods, and then crushing depressions.

I was not diagnosed until my middle forties.  I attempted suicide three times in my early twenties. I still have sporadic suicidal ideas when I go through bad periods in my life. I’m nearly sixty now.

Since Bipolar Type 2 is genetic, it pervaded my family. My childhood was not good, to put it very mildly.

I know that when you are in the middle of this darkness, you feel trapped. You feel like every minute of your life is either painful, humiliating, dangerous, lonely, shameful, traumatic, angry, boring and/or dreary. I’ve been there.

Sometimes you feel that you can’t live with your bad memories of the past and your bad feelings about the present. You feel like things will never get better. I’ve been there.

That’s when suicide starts looking attractive, or at least like an end to the feelings of pain and failure. I’ve been there.

But I’m also here to bear witness that with counseling, medication, and some really good positive psychology books, things can gradually improve, and a new and better life can begin at any age. I’ve been there!

I’m about to enter my sixties, and life is not a bed of roses — but I have a lot of productive work and activities ahead of me, and you will too.

If I could time-travel and talk to myself as a teenager and a 20-something, I would have many positive achievements to show her, that would not have been possible if I had died.

You can learn better ways to deal with the pain, if it comes back from time to time, as it sometimes does. You can live past this pain, into a better and more productive and happier era of your life. Give yourself the chance to do that!

Now, a word about the people around us —

Many of us go through periods where we feel that family, romantic significant others, co-workers and friends have abandoned us or are avoiding us. In some cases, they are not good people, and we need to end the relationships.

In other cases, they just don’t know what to do.  Very few people understand what to do when a loved one is depressed or suicidal, unless they have read some books or are trained counselors.  Sometimes they can be very strong supporters for us; other times, they are frightened or repelled by our problems and withdraw.

We need to be patient with them and educate them about small ways that they can help us that won’t stress them out too far — inviting us to the movies, taking us out for dinner, helping us find a good therapist, etc.

And we need to be realistic — at least those of us who are bipolar patients — that we can be somewhat exhausting to interact with when we are having a big mood swing — we have to guard against wearing our friends and family members out.  I know this seems very unfair, but people who aren’t bipolar often totally don’t “get it” about our high levels of distress.

It might help our family and friends if we called or emailed each one of them once or twice a week — some of them can handle long daily phone calls — and we can ask them if they can handle that – and some of them can’t and would be better off hearing from us once per week.

But primarily, if we get a therapist, medication, and started reading (or in my case, re-reading) some good positive psychology books, we can gradually pull out of the downhill slide, and enter a new phase in our lives. 

If you haven’t done this yet, I urge you to spare your precious life and contact counseling and help immediately!

And if you are a bipolar patient, it really helps to find a local or online bipolar paitents support group. They “get” it!

Many blessings for a future of greater happiness.

From Struggling To Survive (who’s been where you are)