Subjective meaning of life

I find it very interesting how so many people tend to use drugs for self improvement. Whether to forget about problems, subside pain, or self exploration. To a similar degree there are many people who would have all mind altering drugs banned because their conviction is that drugs are tainting otherwise decent people. From my understanding most people are using drugs because there is already something wrong within them. I myself infrequently use many different psychedelic drugs for the purpose of metaphysical exploration. I have recently been using salvia divinorum and have realized a lot about my own existence, and I have to say to your contrary that what I learned from salvia did not make me want to die. It made me want to live. It helped me to once again remember where I am, who I am, and why. Yes, I have gone out of the physical plane. I have died. Each time I come back I remember why I want to live. It’s because I am not done. I have other lives to touch. People to influence, ideas to build better, communities to help grow. I have wanted to stay dead before on several accounts and tried, but every time right at the last minute fate steps in the way and takes me back to my last save point. How many times is it going to take before I finally take the hint that my soul is not done playing this game of life. I know what it is that I want, but I have let others dummy down my motivation. What I want I have known about since before I was born. My earliest memory is picking through several copulating candidates to be my future parents. I chose who I chose because out of the ones that were available at that instant they were the best qualified. They were ambitious, in the right social setting for me to grow as a decent person, they were healthy, had loving family members; and were compatible to the affect of having a strong, healthy, attractive child. Throughout my life I have had people who would keep me grounded, probably so I wouldn’t get so big in my head. Also I have been approached by several strangers in different places in the world who have told me that there’s is something particularly different and special about me, and that I need to keep on a righteous path because I am meant to do amazing things in this world. At times this has really freaked me out, and I have often times questioned my identity. What is this monumental thing that I am supposed to be? I know that I am very powerful. however, good or bad? I feel a strange relief, because this is the first time I have ever publicly revealed this. I know what my soul desires. That one is simple. Quite bluntly, my soul wants to be a rock star. However, just now I realize that my soul must be very selfish. but maybe there’s really nothing wrong with being selfish. I didn’t come into this world as two souls or with a partner. It is meant to be my journey no one else’s. Either way I am going to give my soul what it wants. I obviously haven’t failed at life as a whole. I still have plenty of time to finish the job, and when I compare my physical situation to other physical beings, I can see that I am primed for the position. This is in a nutshell what I have come to see. I must now act upon it. You can do the same too, if you wish. I would strongly recommend it, because if you don’t your soul is everlasting and will just keep coming back to this world to try to fulfill it’s goal again and again and again. To those who think that dieing is the end, you’re wrong. It’s just where you wait until you jump back into life again. In my opinion this is the hell of existence. There’s nothing else. all we do is take turns playing a game and each time we play we either attempt to pick up where we left off, or try something different. Throughout the ages I have been the explorer, the conqueror, the daredevil, the discoverer. I am ever the survivor. That’s my soul’s path pattern. So I fall in suit. That’s the way it goes. There’s only one logical reason to end one’s own life, and that is if you know your purpose for living in the first place, and you have come to a point that prevents you from ever possibly completing your life’s task. If you are certain that you cannot possibly complete your soul’s purpose than you must be much wiser than most, and it should then be your unselfish duty to share you wisdom with those that need it.