im new here but my killing thoughts and death dreams been with me for a long time now! im a 12 years old girl that has many mood swings and problems but who doesnt!! ok my first reason why i wanna die, for years on end my friend has been getting bf’s 10 times a year! i know what your thinking you dont need love to be happy and why am i reading this and blah blah blah!!! if your reading this you gonna be crazy cause no one ever listens to me! you still reading?!? if you you want to then you better be ready for one heck of a ride!! as i was saying my friend got soooo many bf’s a year! i will never loved by anyone only my a kindergarned friend! in 5th grade i played runescape. it was so fun and you could have bf’s on there but its was nothing real it was fake and just for fun! school was a freakin’ drag so i played around on the computer, joking and pranking people! guys are soo stupid on there and would fall for any girl! i would get soo many bf’s and if two or three was on i would freak, i was with my bf when i was walking down this trail and ran into one of my other bf’s!!!! i logged off as quick as i can, i logged in two hours later to see they were still there!! they talked it out while i was gone and they both broke up with me! it was heartbreaking but a funny thing to me! after a couple years of playing on there i met a guy named Bigknight104, ok well i didnt meet him at first and i didnt know he was a guy either! my rl friend was on with her two friends memorymixer and bigknight104… we knew memorymixer was a guy but not bigknight!! my friend even told knight that she liked memory when knight liked her!!!! bigkinght suppostly said he asked me out the other day i was freakin’ out like omg this girl is asking me out!?! XD well blah blah blah i dont have much time you know its 3am here! XDD after a long time bigknight showed me this song saying this is what i think of you and your friend… the song was Lips of an Angel!! i loved the song but now i cry and break down when i hear it!! you see what happen i really fell for this dude… but he was soo crazy and got mad cause i had a tiny crush on his younger brother which was my age! he broke up with me but i begged him back then breakup and make up over and over and over!!! its like the song over and over from three days grace!! that once sweet song just kills me now but that isnt all my worse times!Â before that when my account was stoled and i never went back i met Doctor1 his real name is Donavan! omg we called each other and we only lived two hours away and we fell in love! my first bf!! at the time my friend jess fell in love with a guy named Randy over myspace and they only lived 20 mins apart!! those good days turned for the worse!! randy got mad and had that they had to break up cause it was long reationship distane(bad speller!) i was like come on dude you live 20 mins away from her!! me and donavan live two hours away from each other!! *shakes head* they broke up and soon donavan’s mother didnt let me talk to him anymore!! i never heard his sweet voice again… i tried jumping a cliff! i sprang my wrist but no one knew. it was heart breaking, bigknight… the guy i tried to keep in my arms forever and now donavan… my only happy thought ever?! never fun for anyone! jess tried not to be my friend i over dose myself and cut myself! oh the worse was the over dose!!