Hi,
I am feeling quite depressed atm. I am under a mental health team and have a keyworker and a CSW(community support worker) the latter whom I had a falling out with a few weeks ago. I feel as though I am being pressured into just putting up with her demeaning and negative attitude towards me so that I will “keep the peace” between service providers. I grew up in an abusive household and was also bullied at school, home and then at work, where I remained putting up with insults about my weight, etc for most of the 15 years I worked…… I have tried suicide numerous times the last few being in November last year and again in Jan/Feb of this year. I went into a coma on one attempt, so came pretty close…. At the moment I just don’t feel like things are going to get any better, I am totally at a loss as to what direction I want my life to go in. I constantly feel as if people are judging me and that I am not good enough. As for my CSW my keyworker had already agreed to take me for an appointment last week and when she heard about my csw she rang me and said she couldn’t take me but could meet me and bring me home. I found out from her student that her story was a lie(she had said she had a funeral to go to) it happened earlier in the day and so she could have picked me up, as the student said they had done other things afterwards.
My history already makes it hard for me to trust people and this has just made me distrust my keyworker now. I’ve been saving up pills and I am getting to the point of wanting to end it all……..which may be soon.
My sister also had the audacity to tell my niece who is only 14 that I attempted suicide and gave her all the details which I felt was inappropriate and now I feel guilty as she has now been disposed to the idea of suicide and just for the record my sister is no angel, she abuses my niece and neglects her to the point that she actually lost custody of her 4 years ago but now my niece has returned to live with her and I just worry for her as shes a neat kid, but my sister can be a real *****…..catty…….backstabbing…….and generally doesn’t really car about her daughters safety…. all she could talk about was she couldnt wait for her to turn 14 so she could legally be left at home unsupervised( her mum had her every 2nd weekend) and most weekends she either ended up at my home or my Mums home.
Sorry about the rant, just had to get some stuff off my chest………….feel as though no-one really cares, so what is the point of going on….:O(
2 comments
Hello, I am sorry to hear about your situation. I have similar problems and came to the conclusion everyone on this planet are self-serving selfish pricks. Instead of working together, people work against each other in very sneaky ways — even if they say they are helping you. I am 29 and have been wanting to end it all since age 12 or so, but haven’t really managed to really inflict serious damage to myself physically — although mentally I am screwed up with nervous problems. I do not see why people continuously want to breed more people in this despicable world only for their selfish desires of “Wanting a baby.” Don’t these would-be parents know how crazy this world is? What is the damn point in making another person who is only going to get shafted?
I’ve found some strategies on how to handle bullies. At least it helped me a bit when I needed to stand my ground. Hope it helps:-
1.Simple, one word response to bullying such as saying “So?â€
2.Repeating simple phrases to bullying statements takes away from what the bully is trying to get, a strong reaction.
3. Be a broken record
Repeating simple statements in a calm voice in response to whatever the bully does. For example:
Bully: “Oh, look at your hair! Did someone cut it with a hedge trimmer?â€
You: “Stop talking to me like that.â€
Bully: “Oh, I’m scared, what are you gonna do?
You: “Stop talking to me like that.â€
4. Body Language/Facial expression/Tone of voice
How you present yourself physically and vocally can have an impact on how others treat you. For example, looking down, whispering, and being hunched over give a much different message to a bully than standing up straight, looking them in the eye and using a clear and firm voice.
5. Breathe Deeply
It is natural to feel scared and become tense (feel hot, hands clenched, face grimaced) when one are in a bullying situation. Taking steps to calm down can help a you to think more clearly and make responsible choices. Stopping and taking time to take some deep breathes can help one to calm down. It also allows them time to think before acting.
6. Use humor
Sometimes making a funny comment or joke can help to diffuse the bullying situation and potentially change the focus of the situation. It is important however to not laugh at the bully. For example:
Bully: “Oh, look at your hair! Did someone cut it with a hedge trimmer?â€
You: “Yeah, I am trying for the Albert Einstein lookâ€
7. Get help
Sometimes a bullying situation can not be solved alone and seeking safety and guidance from others is essential.
**It is important to note that these strategies are meant as suggestions that may help you in bullying situations. Unfortunately, there is not one perfect solution for bullying. Each bullying situation presents its own uniqueness that should be taken into consideration.