But I feel like everyone else in this world is fucking retarded. There are so many things I just don’t understand about people. Why would you believe in religion? It’s just something people made up to explain everything. Why can’t people just say I don’t know? I don’t understand why people want to wear nice clothing, do their hair, all that stupid extraneous stuff. My parents keep trying to convince me that if I don’t have money, I’ll be miserable. Half the students in my school are all selfish people who just want to look good in front of others by getting g/bfs. The other half just want to have sex with as many people as possible. That wouldn’t be so bad because it’s a natural human instinct, but they do it so selfishly alienating everyone else around them.
I am 17 years old about to go to college and my life seems like it would be good, and it should be making me happy. But the thing is, it’s not. I have absolutely no love for my parents or friends. I want someone to talk to, but I don’t want to talk to just anyone. I want to talk to someone who thinks like me, because I’ve never seen a single person who says the things I say. I play video games and watch anime all day locked up in my room just eating junk food and sodas. Everyone keeps saying I’m just obsessed, but in reality, it’s just the fact that nothing else interests me. Everything is boring, and on the internet, you’re completely anonymous and you meet so many interesting people. People in real life hide everything and just do things to impress others. I’m not interested in girls either. It would be nice to have sex and all, but in the end it doesn’t matter to me.
But the reason I’m writing this is because I feel like I want to die. I feel like I’m in a crowded hallway. Everyone’s rushing to one side full of fake shiny things and I’m trying to get out of the crowd but people keep pushing me towards the shiny things. My parents keep telling me that I have to go to a good college and get a nice house and a nice car, or I’ll regret it. I don’t care about that stuff though. My friends keep telling me to do some drugs and get some girls, but I don’t care about that stuff. It’s all fake.
If you want to contact me and have a similar opinion as me, my email is thisemailisfake249@gmail.com . I have a fake email because I have a very rational fear that people will find my personal information from my real email address and send me to a psychologist or a hospital.
3 comments
Ive just accepted that the majority of the human race dont qualify as beings of higher intelligence. Simple things for simple minds. You should be damn proud that that pointless garbage doesnt mean shit to you.
Quoting my favorite book/movie,
“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world”
“I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need”
Woah. That happens to be my number one favorite movie of all time. The book is even better.
Anyways, I can relate. I have friends, but always feel alone. I don’t think anyone thinks the way I do. I have mostly hate for humans. My friends say my view of the world is a reflection of myself. That’s crap. I hate child molesters, I hate liars, I hate people who abuse animals or rape children, I hate people who steal, I hate people who put down others to pump themselves up. I don’t do any of that shit. So how is me hating all that a reflection of myself if it’s all bullshit I would never do? Stupid humans. Wish I could just go to an island.
The concept and beliefs behind religion have never appealed to me either. Not that I dislike people or think people who follow it are silly, I feel that it is a good way for certain people to cope with their problems and that it can be beneficial for some people, which is why I don’t necessarily think it is completely bad. I am astounded at the behaviors or some people in the world, how some people can be so conceited and pretentious and only care about looks and getting success and as you said, just sleeping around without being compassionate about others and are quick to judge others simply for not being the same as them. I feel that most people are just putting on a front and that no one is really truly themselves in front of most people, although I’d probably include myself in that as well. All in an effort to become popular and successful with flashy cars and huge mansions, which frankly doesn’t appeal to me at all. I also feel like nothing interests me at all either and I feel completely unmotivated to attempt anything else because it is as if I can predict my own failure.
I’m glad that you are not doing drugs or anything. While it may be a quick release it obviously is detrimental in the long run.
By the way have you watched an anime called Ergo Proxy by any chance? If not I recommend it, it is one of my favourites.
Anyway I hope that you do not carry out with suicide. I cannot really suggest anything to help you reconsider, only that I don’t think you deserve the pain. I hope you can recover.