I’m losing it.

August 5th, 2009by vitiated

For years all I’ve been wanting is to die. I never thought I’d kill myself, but I just wished that I’d get into a car accident and die. But lately I’ve just been feeling worse and worse. Today, I actually sat down and tried to decided what the best way to kill myself would be. I can’t believe I’ve got to this point.

My life isn’t bad; nothing earth shattering has ever happened to me. Except for some molestation issues when I was younger, but I barely remember it and can’t think it’s affected me all that much. I just think about my future and can’t see myself ever being happy. I don’t see anyone else being more than content with their life and I don’t think I’ll ever be at a place in my life where I’ll be happy.

I don’t see why I should have to keep living in a world that doesn’t matter. What’s going to change if I die? Nothing other than the fact that I won’t be miserable anymore. I honestly don’t think that anybody would be too affected by my death. I know people would say otherwise, though.

I hope that there is no afterlife; I just don’t want to do any sort of living anymore.

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