I am not sure who will see this, are if they will care. Everyday I have consider how to end this pain, the empty feellings that are in my heart . I am sure it will be by pills I hope I have enough. I have wanted for so long to talk to someone and empty out my soul to. But I think God is tired of my tears, if I were he I know I would. I feel so tired of trying, putting on the smiles saying I’m ok. But I am not ok. I take care of my edlery father and I have 2 cats in a small one bedroom appartment. I go home and clean , cook pick up after everyone then I go to sleep. I wake up cook, pick up after everyone then I go to work. This has been my life for 10 years now. I know I sound selfish, but is this what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life. Is it worng to want a husband, children and to be content. I want peace of mind , no more tears no more pain.