I’m 19 years old, and I’ve been through more than any person should in their lifetime. I’ve been raped twice, the first was by my “loving boyfriend” when I was 15, he said he loved me, and I believed him. Because of this, I was stupid enough to stay with him. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he also physically and emotionally abused me constantly. My so-called friends knew what was going on, and they just sat there and did nothing.  The best day of my life was October 15th 2006 when I got into a car accident and he was killed. I thought the pain was over then, and things seemed to clear up, at least momentarily. Since then, my parents have passed, my friends have abandoned me, and not even my pets want to be around me anymore (I know it sounds lame, but in the past four months, I’ve had three cats that’ve all run away). So I’ve been through enough punishment, right? Aparently not.  May 6th of last year I was raped again, this time by a total stranger.  The damage the rape caused was so bad that I can no longer bear children.  So here I am, the girl who always dreamed of having a big family, unable to have a family of my own at all. I’ve been ready to kill myself for years, I’ve even tried several times, but I can’t even get that right. I just want the suffering to end.
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Dear Friend,
You have been through far too much at your age and I’m so sorry. I don’t really know what to say to comfort, but I wanted you to know that no matter how alone you feel in the world, you’re not alone and you never will be. xx.
Somehow, you need to find something in your life that will give it meaning. That’s not much help I know and it’s easier said than done given that you’ve been through hell. There are a lot of girls your age who have been raped too and have said nothing. Have you ever though about volunteering to help them? You’ll understand them more than anyone else. (I’m sorry if that’s a lame or insulting suggestion as well, I don’t mean it to be)
I really hope you can just find something to give you hope or peace with all my heart.
Jack. xxx
hang in there life is a struggle and you give up on yourslef. Life will go hang in there can be hell on earth or heaven it depends on the choices you make you have to have faith! Their are days where I want to end my life and I dont understand why my mom chose a man over me and my dad is an crack addict and I was homeless at 17. You just need someone to talk to and vent holding it in makes even worse. I hope you feel better sweetheart!
I was raped at 16 by a friend I thought I could trust. I was a virgin. I told my cousin and I was scared. She didn’t believe me, so I thought no one else would either so I didn’t tell anyone else until over a year later.
I got pregnant at 17 and my boyfriend (who was emotionally abusive and violent) wanted me to get an abortion, but I didn’t want to. He decided to go to a store with his friend, beat up the elderly man that was running the store and steal the 300 some dollars that was in the cash register for me to get an abortion. He went to jail, thank god. He called me from jail and I told him it was over and I had the abortion (which I didn’t) so he could just leave me alone and never talk to me again.
I told my parents that I was pregnant on Sept. 11, 2001 (great timing right?) and he had apparently written them a letter from jail saying that I was going to hell for what I had done. He was basically trying to get me kicked out of my parents’ house. My parents, although very disappointed and upset, were relatively supportive. I told my mom about being raped at 16 and she was sorry that I had to go through that.
I’m sorry that you are unable to have children. The only thing I can say is that there are many children in the world looking for loving parents. I’ve had many friends who were adopted and as long as the parents were honest in the beginning about the adoption, they’ve had rather happy lives.
Rape is an evil thing and men who do this to women deserve to have there junk cut off so they can never do it again.
As for the pet thing, try dogs. They are more loyal animals and can sense emotions to where they try to make things better.
Again, I’m sorry you had to go through this pain.
I know you don’t know me and I don’t know you but I really feel for you. No one should have to go through what you’ve experienced. Especially so young. It must be really hard, beyond imagining.
I won’t tell you to get help because I know from experience how hard it can be to ask for help, or to receive it, and because it’s no one’s right to tell you what to do.
What I will say is the folllowing:
I hope you don’t kill yourself. I hope you live to fight another day. I hope you find the will to carry on, if only so that the bastards haven’t won.
(All very cliche but that doesn’t stop it from being true.)
Above all, I hope you find some sort of happiness.
Good luck.
My heart goes out to you……………
“A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl.”
– Stephan Hoeller
(life seems to be unceasingly colossally crappy, being afraid to trust is detrimental to your future, take care in this world of wolves and lambs -much love)