Why does it feel like my life is a horrible joke? One big fat joke. That is all I will ever be. I hate this alot. I have little to no friends. School life was a big mess from start to finish. It seems like when ever I am noticed in this world its only to be laughed at. I have not much to say since I have never done this but maybe someone will understand me? I have bad social problems, fat, ugly and no friends and I have an even personal problem that few understand. I feel no matter what I do its wrong and I cant do anything right. I dont see whats so special about life. But then again i dont have one…I feel so horrible each day but then again I brought this on myself right?! I dont know God brought me here so it cant be all my fault. I wished only that this life hurries up and ends so one day maybe I wont be a joke anymore? Not like anyone would miss me. The only one who truly loves me is my grandmother. Well I dont got the guts to end my life tonight or tomorrow or even ever, But I pray that when the time comes I will be forgotten and the joke will end.