was sexually abused when i was a child.didnt say to nobody that.was growing up in strict family.was just waiting to be 18 and leave my country cos culdn stand face of the guy who was raping me for 2 years.
when i was 18 left to study uni in other country.was thinking that was the best solution but i was not ready for that.was trying to be best student and show everybody that im THE ONE,basically didnt eat was studying all the time,didnt realize that i was so skinny,soon after i was underwieight,went back to my parents and from underwieight i was soon overweight cos i had all the time to eat to make my familly happy.
didnt last long cos i stoped eating and lost all extra wieght.
after finishing my uni went to london and my life became so hard.
here i had my first gay expirence and im gay now which I HATE cos if people in my country know’s that i wuld be killed(religion).
im living 2 lives one in my country where im straight and one here where im gay.
I jsut feel like i cant fight with life anymore,i been doing that since i was 5.the worst thing is that my friends wuld describe me as a happy guy who has everything.
for last 3 months im just thinking how to finish this,just wanna sleep and wanna feel peace forever