If u dont know what is happenin 2 me just read the post Help Me! But i have got a really fucked up choice 2 make. I have missed school because i am depressed….but not just a few days, months at a time. I lied and made it sound like i had IBS, but now they are goin 2 do tests on me in 3 days. I no that the results r gunna show no trace of IBS, so my parents r probably gunna freak out, and if they find out that i missed school cuz i am depressed i am probably going 2 get shot by them. So the way i see things is i got 3 choices:
1. end my life now and put a bullet through my head
2. run away and try 2 make a livin in sum alley
3. chance it and take the tests and see what happens when they find out that i dont have IBS
I am really dont no wut 2 do right now. I am thinkin bout eatin a bunch of greasy food 2 get my stomach messed up before the tests so it may seem like i have IBS, but killin myself does seem pretty good right bout now. It is not like i have any potential in life 2 do sumptin good, so far i have failed my first semester at school. So if i take the tests and my parents dont kill me i will still have a shitty life. The only reason i am living is cuz of my friends, but i really have stopped carin bout wut will hapen 2 them if i kill myself. My depression is even getting worse, and i think i might even be goin crazy right now. I am even startin 2 hallucinate things, but i did find out that you can start 2 hallucinate things cuz of depression. But still, i think that i may be loosin my mind. I am starting 2 get really pissed of if even the slightest thing goes wrong or if sumone does sumpting slightly wrong 2 me. I do have thoughts bout killin my parents sumtimes, and if i wanted 2 kill sumone, i can do it with ease unless they got a gun or knife. Im 6’3″ as strong or even stronger than most adults and have dun martial arts since i wuz 5. So, if i am goin crazy i dont wanna end up hurtin sumone. I just dont know wut 2 do anymore. Why am i such a fuck up?!