Because I could put on all the makeup in the world and I wouldn’t be beautiful.
Because I gave you everything I had to give.
Because I always forget to see the end.
Because I think this is the end. Of something anyway.
Because I’ll never be good enough.
Because forever is a lie.
Because I’ll never be able to fill this hole.
Because I’m alone.
Because this hurts more than I ever imagined.
Because I’m not really good at anything.
Because I fuck everything up.
Because I’ve lost something I cannot replace.Â
Because I didn’t come here to find love or friends. But somehow both happened upon me. And I want them to unhappen
Because I want to leave this place and never look back.
Because I really hope I’ll wake up and not be here anymore.
Because my whole body hurts.Â
Because I want to be home.
Because I forgot where I came from.
Because I haven’t truly smiled or laughed in a long time.
Because I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning anymore.
Because lately all I do is cry.
Because everything went wrong all at once.
Because I want to binge drink.
Because I don’t want anyone anymoreÂ
Because everyone lets you down in the long run.
Because I’m terrified.
Because I hate my body.
Because I don’t wanna be in my own skin.
Because most of the people I thought had my back turned on me suddenly.
Because I want to feel safe.
Because I want a place to call home.
Because I don’t feel like I have anything to live for anymore.
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7 comments
man that shit bought tears to my eyes…seriouosly…i feel this shit from beginning to the end. im about to get in alot of trouble soon and all ive been doing lately is smoking weed but the problem is still here…man that shit was beautiful..
thank you….this came out the other night…shit’s just been realy rough lately. i don;t know how to deal. I’m physically ill and mentally a mess. I hate it. I hate being here.
because nothing feels real anymore.
because I’ve numbed myself from all this pain…
when i only want to feel alive again.
because time seems to keep going when my world has stopped.
because i cant control my own life anymore, but i don’t want you to control it either.
because I’ve given up, when all i want is something to believe in.
because we’re alike, but you don’t understand me.
because forever and ever means:
forever and ever and ever and NEVER.
because no one should feel lifeless.
because i feel dead inside.
because time doesn’t exist anymore.
because i cant breathe or feel my own heart beat.
because I’ve shut down all emotional and physical attachment.
because honestly, I’m terrified.
because every time i told you i love you, i wasn’t sure if it was true.
because writing is the only way to say how i feel.
because hope is just another word without a meaning.
because i forgot what it means to love, and figured out what it means to hate myself.
because nothing makes sense anymore.
because tomorrow never comes, and today’s all i have.
because every morning when i wake up, i have to be strong again and push through.. but i don’t know why anymore.
because everyone is the same in ways, but yet no one stays long enough to figure that out.
because i want to swallow those pills and stop this.
because the blood in my body feels like needles running through my veins.
because i want it, but i don’t have it.
because i really don’t care anymore.
but mostly because this post made me cry.
something i haven’t been able to do lately.
because for once, i feel like someone knows me.
when i don’t even know who i am anymore.
and because…
whoever posted this…
needs something to believe in.
so believe you aren’t alone.
even when you think you are.
and believe you’ll find better, and be better.
and the pain will eventually fade.
it wont go away…
but it’ll be numbed.
still there, just not always present.
and you won’t have to cry anymore, or feel alone anymore.
and for once, someone will understand you.
i will understand you.
hope is something that left me a long time ago…and it’s almost like I’m scared to hope anymore because I know I’ll just be let down.
This is exactly how I feel from beginning to end it’s all true.
Oh my god – thank you. I couldn’t ever have said it so honestly and truthfully and painfully and beautifully. Right now it just hurts and hurts and hurts. I can’t stop sobbing long enough to think it into words tonight, but yours were perfect. I am glad I found this place. Thank you for your post. It is so strange to find that none of us are alone in our devastating loneliness.
I’m surprised…I never thought something like that would touch or effect people the way you all say it is…it actually makes me feel a tiny bit better.
so, thank YOU