cant take anymore

…and no one cares. it seems everything i do in my life anymore falls apart. if only one person in my life can come and say I care and can i help would make a difference. no on does anymore it seems in short supply. what is going on with people? reminds me of that verse in the bible “and the love of many will grow cold” i think revelation is happening. thing is lately ive realised I dont want to live on the planet anymore…not that I dont want to live I just dont like it here and dont like the people anymore. its been 2 years of backslide, loss of job, work, girlfriend, recently my mom passed. i have 2 roomates at my home and am scaring them away. they think the temper and screaming about troubles is a threat. its a cry fro help. they run out and dont talk to me for days. freinds and family turn away. all i ask is understanding and a little help. seems no one cares at all. ive given up on god. seems all he does is deny me or shit on me too. creditors want money, freinds want respect, well how about me? how about my needs? it makes me wish the worst on em all. i see a catastrophy on the news and laugh saying good i hope that happens here people deserve it!  yeah everyone wants something from me…gimme gimme gimme. how about a little love and respect or is that illegal now? how about someone in my life that supports me? how about a job or business? we get asked to perform and perform our best, live up to demands but how about mine…oh i dont matter. tired of scripts and sleeping aids, self help, church support, shrinks. everyone has the answer but no clue! they dont know the constant pain in my head if i could just blow it out there would be peace. i know it would wreck my son but the pain gets so bad anything is worth killing it. you feel like a cripple and people keep mocking and kicking you because you cant walk WTF!!! im convinced most people have a serious lack of empathy for anyone or anything unless it means money in their hand. this is a hollow country and a hollow world. i hope its struck down soon.