I’ve got my pills lined up and I’m ready to take them. This has been a long time coming. I simply cannot live like this anymore. Every day is an effort just to get up and function. My story is a long one but i won’t go into it here. Suffice it to say it has brought me to this point. I simply exist,nothing more. My mistakes have cost me dearly and they cannot be fixed. I am simply a robot now just going through the motions. Every day is just gray or black. No joy. No life. No love. My death will affect those i hold dear but i have ceased to care. I’m sorry for that but maybe in a way thats part of the plan…..if there is one.
6 comments
If you haven’t crossed over, send me an email disclosing the kind of pills you plan on downing. Take the chance and open up. Tell me your darkest secrets and I’ll do the same. After all it is the internet and we are in the 21st century. If you are a robot, be the robot we all know you can be.
Yours in spirit,
ME
still here holy grail…..for now. to answer your question..pills are xanax,trmadol,hydrocone.vicodin and a healthy dose of vodka thrown in.
thanks for responding
in the end
reaching out makes a difference
mindstormz
Oh yeah, I’ve had a downward spiral of depression ever since I took the leap of faith in the magical realm of weight loss. Life is full of suffering, but without it the rewards wouldn’t be the same. I’ve got enough pills to kill 10 of us, but I’ve managed not to off myself knowing this too shall pass.
Pour me a drink,
ME
hello mindstormz, could I ask you what the fundamentals of your feeling like that are? I mean what causes it, is it a terminal disease? a disability? very advanced age like 90 or so? I think it is the minimum we need to know to say whether we can say something like, shit you are right! or so.
It’s not worth it. Trust me. Nothing bad can ever happen in life that’s worth killing yourself. I fell into depression last year. I thought things would never change. Everything became as worse as it could have. I tried to kill myself. I was alone in the dorm room and overdosed on more than a hundred pills. I was knocked out in minutes. Next thing I know was that I woke up in the psychiatric ward 2 days later. Apparently, somehow someone on my floor found me lying outside my door. I have no idea how I got outside. Only God knows. He does exist. This is just His test on our lives. I thought things would never improve. I was in the psych unit for a week. When I left, I still felt depressed and suicidal for months. I would cry every night in the bathroom holding a knife in my hand. But I clung on. I held on for my life. I gave it a chance. Today, I’m steadily improving mentally. My suicidal thoughts are gone. I’m still a little depressed at times. But it’s only been 6 months. It takes time. Trust me. You’re going to be perfectly fine soon enough. You just have to stay strong. I’m only 18 years old and that one night was the worst decision of my life. The pain I inflicted on my family is unbearable. People do care about you. It’s just that there’s chemicals due to meds and just so much shit going on in our brains that we can’t control. If you and I can get through this part of our lives, we can get through anything. Email me if you would like to talk to me at i.survived.91@gmail.com. Stay strong. Never give up. I don’t even know you and I care about you just because I was like you at one point and after months I understand that nothing in my life is worth it to give away my life. Please believe in my words. I can help you overcome this. Please email me!
by killing yourself you won’t change anything. Just start a new life.