I’m feeling a bit hopeless right now, I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m depressed a lot and I’ve been thinking about suicide lately, I just don’t feel like life is worth it anymore. I love my family and I think they’re the only reason I haven’t killed myself yet. I’m always faking a smile, I just feel so screwed up lately. I had an easy life I guess it was just filled with a lot of pain and distrust, I can’t trust anyone because of what happened to me when I was younger. Now, I wasn’t raped or molested or anything, but my family hasn’t always been the best family in the world. While I know I’m not the only one who has gone through things like this, it doesn’t change the fact that it still hurts. I have a lot of pent up anger and bitterness that I can’t get rid of and it’s weighing down on me heavily. I can’t talk to anyone because I don’t know who my real friends are and my family just doesn’t understand. I’m hoping someone here can help me before I decided that I just can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to put my family through that pain but I don’t want to hurt anymore. What’s the point of existing when you don’t even feel like you’re existing?
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I would like to say something for all you guys about this pain thing… I know it’s killing, I go through it a lot, and going through it now, we all have those ups and downs… but basically the hurt and the pain that’s caused but depression or guilt or any other disturbing emotional state, sorry to say that but “it doesn’t go” this pain always comes back in different forms… for me it’s like, I either get over the whole pain and avoid it, like I said in this post
http://suicideproject.org/2009/10/a-message-to-everyone/
or it would just keep increasing and kill me in the end, if you keep letting that pain control you it would just make you go insane all the time, you need to find some way to get over it or deal with it…
e-mail me if you like,
SuicideSeasonProject@live.com
alright.. i know that i am writing to you 4 years after you posted this post, but i have been touched by your post. please, email me.. if you’d like to have someone to talk to.
here, my email : b.mercinery2307@gmail.com