I’ve never had a lot of friends, but I’m more alone now than I have ever been. I lost my best friend a few months ago because I got angry again and said some horrible things, only this time she didn’t forgive me.  She was the closest thing I have ever had to a girlfriend. But she has moved on and never wants to see me again. I lay awake at night remembering all the good times we had, how I would have done things differently , how many times she forgave me for being stupid and immature. It’s driving me crazy. After she left I lashed out at those around me, and now I have no friends.  I spend every night in front of my computer wishing I had someone to talk to. Maybe I could move on if I could find a girl who would love me, or at least tell me she cared about me. I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not a good looking guy and I’m starting to feel that I will never find anyone. I’ll be a real 40 year old virgin. I have no social life because I don’t work and I’m not in school; I’m supposed to be going into the marines in a month…but I don’t know if I’ll last that long. I hurt her so badly and I can never forgive myself, I need her forgiveness, but she hates me and says nothing but bad things about me. I wanted to go out to dinner last night, but out of the 20 numbers in my phone I couldn’t get anyone to go with me. I want to disapper, but I don’t want to hurt my family and I’m too scared to pull the trigger. Maybe if I could make up my mind and be more decisive I would feel better, but this limbo just makes it worse. I haven’t been happy in so long, I can’t remember the last time.
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hi there, i dont have the answers to my own problems so i’m not goin to claim i got the answere for you either,but….yesterday i felt so bad about me and my lot in life,today i feel somewhat better… i only have today, yesterday is gone and i dont know what tomorrow will bring, i think part of my problem is either living in yesterday or tomorrow. i’ve done and said alot of hurtful things in my life and @ times i continue to hurt myself by hating myself…. it dont really matter if other people forgive my wrongs or not, because i believe untill i start to take care of myself in body and mind i’m going to continue this self heatred i have.
when i finish this mail to you, i’m going to take a shower,have lunch & then get out for few hours…no one is going to come knocking on my door and say,’hi i know your feeling low & just thought i’d come round & cheer you up’ i have to get out there & fight the negitive stuff thats in my head.. and yes its hard,very hard, but what choice do i have?, well i suppose i do have a choice, i can choose to stay home & have pity parties like i did yesterday, but today i’m not going to…. i need to fill my head with good stuff & keep telling myself i’m an ok guy & i have a right to be here.
when i have bad days i have to keep telling myself THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
i wish you well & take care of you. reguards. john. ireland
Hey..you said you were going to join the Marines. You must be good enough. They don’t take just anyone. Don’t kid yourself. You are something and they saw it in you. I wanted to be a Marine. I didn’t pass the test. Can you believe that? You at least passed the test. You are about to embark on a journey that I did not have the opportunity to do. I ended up joinging the Army. It’s not what I wanted, but I ended up doing that. You are getting to be the best. There is a lot in front of you. DO NOT GIVE UP. I wish you had called me for dinner!@!!!!!
hi i dont have answers like that cuz thats how i feel i mean i was in love but the guy crushed me to lil pieces and i wanted to give up but dont u will regret it email me if u wana talk emeraldtestaylor@gmail.com
i care about you. no we never met and no we probably never will. but i care about you.