Today I called my college and dropped out of one of my classes. I talked with my parents about this and they fully support my decision. After my dad and I talked about this, he took me off to the side and told me, “You seem to be going down hill again… Do you want to talk about it?”
I said, “No. You just wouldn’t understand.”
Then my dad said, “Please talk to me Katie.”
I turned and look at him and said, “Justin (my boyfriend of 7years) and I are on a break. My medications haven’t been working for a while and I’m starting to slip back into the depression that got me into the hospital.”
All my dad said was, “If you need to go back to the hospital, then that’s what we’ll do. But first let’s talk to your psychiatrist and therapist.” I agreed.
I just want to die. I can’t take it anymore. There’s nothing for me to live for. Justin will be better off with someone who isn’t psycho. My parents will go on with there lives because the have my three other siblings and al the grandchildren. I just wish that I could get into an accident and die that way I don’t have to do the dirty work myself.
2 comments
you are not going to that to a father who clearly cares so much about you. And three brothers, what a horrible trauma you are creating in a family if you do that. Carry on with their lives? they will scarred and traumatised always and you will create in them the horrible frustration that will make them feel guilty for not having done the right thing, for not having avoided it. That is a monstruosity in them that you would be unchain them and you will be condemning them to horrible depressions always. So, forget about it.
Explain to me the break up of your relationship and what makes you feel depressed.
i guess our relationship is ok for right now.. we are still a little rocky.
the reason i am so depressed is because I was sexually abused from the age of 4 years to 8 years old and I finally told when i turned 14 years old.. I am now 19 years old and I have to deal with ptsd and flashbacks and nightmares everyday and night.. i’m literally loosing my mind. no one understands what i am going through.. it’s a difficult situation i am in. I am in a very “fragile state” says my therapist.