NRTL # 4

  October 29th, 2009 by DEADALREADY

I don’t have much to lose. I don’t see how I can gain anything I need While stuck in this body.
My needs/desires are tearing me apart. I can’t handle seeing all the happy people holding hands with their significant others
while I am still alone. I feel like a man who has been lost in the desert for a long time with nothing to eat and everybody is waving food in front of my face, real close to my face so I can smell it, everything but touch it or taste it. I am convinced that there is no girl (who I would find acceptable myself) who will love me, remain faithful, and stay with me until I die.
I’m sick of saying the same crap over and over again and I’m sure your sick of reading it in my previous NRTL (No Reason To Live) posts. But It just doesn’t stop hurting and the same questions and thoughts just keep bouncing around in my head. So I guess at this point I am just waiting. I just need an emotional push, I need something to happen so I can use that in the moment and leave this world.

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