Right now I, a 16 year old hidden bisexual man, am laying in my bed rotating a pair of scissors. Ive been listening to “The Prayer” by Kid Cudi for the last 2 hours. And over the last few weeks my life has just been going straight down hill. 2 Fridays ago, i decided that i would finally come out to this other gay kid that i thought was pretty awesome. I trusted him, even though we barely knew each other like that. then i became comfortable with him and thought life was going great because i had someone i could be real with. Then last Thursday, i was confronted by this gay kid in my art club, because he could tell by the way i looked at him that i wanted him. Which was true. Alright, things are going great. but then the next weekend i planned to go hook up with him, but i lied to my parents about where i would be out, cause they don’t know, and don’t deserve to. But then i was caught being somewhere so they took my car and my phone. I may sound spoiled but, frankly those are my main life lines, its like life has stopped with out them. and now these two guys are acting somewhat different towards me, but i cant call or text or hang out with them to talk about it. That’s half of my relationship problems. The other half is the girl that im openly talking to. Every time we talk its as though she s either getting mad at me or her best friend is. And im not one to apologize so the problems get worse and worse. and now i just dont wanna deal with it any longer. Plus im failing my English class with a teacher i have known for years that acts like im the horrible student that doesn’t give a damn. Along with this, i have 5 other honors, ap, and ib classes that stress me out by the time 2nd block starts. Then being the ‘bright’ student everyone marks me out to be i have several, somewhere around 5-8, clubs that im involved in and that i try to stay fully involved in. All this juggling just isnt working anymore. i dont have time or patience. i just wanna end it all. im just laying here imagining the things i could do with these scissors. (a)slit my throat (b) cut the main artery in my leg (c) cut out my throat (d) cut my stomach til there is not enough blood to survive (e) cut off one finger at a time until i can feel no more pain (f) slice my legs toÂ point blood drips off the side of my bed. Its sad that ie gotten to this point, but i just cant stop the thoughts. and now im driving myself insane by creating voices that tell me to do dangerous things, all while pretending to be a happy kid to everyone so as not to bring them down. ugh, i just wanna end it all.