This is it in my time of need nobody is there to help me. I want to die but I donâ€™t want to live. I am sick of living a lie! The people in my class say oh she is such a lovely girl always happy and smiling, they donâ€™t even know me! It is all just a lie. In all honesty I am so unhappy. There are times I look in the mirror and think wow I look pretty or boy do I feel good. That is such a rarity, truth be told I despise myself. I despise the person that I have become. I can think back to a time that I was happy and that was when I was about? How pathetic I canâ€™t even remember when I was last happy. I canâ€™t even remember most of my childhood. I wake up in the morning and think to myself just another day thatâ€™s all it is, your going to see all your friends. That doesnâ€™t even make me smile anymore, I just think of everything as a burden. I donâ€™t have the strength to live, but I donâ€™t have the strength to die. I canâ€™t leave my family, but I canâ€™t pretend to be happy. I am always starting arguments and making people unhappy and sad. I want to help those people that have nothing but how can I do that when I take everything I have for granted? I know my life is not as bad! I am a hypocrite, a girl living a lie trying to make everybody else happy just to try and forget about myself and all of my imperfections. I want to just be free to forget about everything just start again in a new place as a new person. I have recently found out that a girl I called one of my best friends had been calling me names behind my back. I have a really hard time trusting people as it is so that has made me feel even worse. I have attempted suicide many times and as I am here writing this they were unsuccessful. TIRED OF BEING ME, TIRED OF LIVING A LIE, I AM ALL TOGETHERÂ TIRED OF LIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!