Wish I was gone.

This all really started 9/30/09 when my boyfriend commited suicide wich makes 2people in my live dead my brother and boyfriend. I have always been depressed since my brother but after my boyfriend was gone that hit the button and i took amidate action i started cutting my self and i recently last wednesday tried to overdose on sleeping pills but i ended up in the hospitall. i have a new boyfriend and he has depression problems as i do and we both are trying to stay strong but it is hard though being at home where no one likes me and then even being outside of home where i get the same as i do at home i am one my last to strikes and i feel alone to make my choice i still feel i need to be here for my sister she is suicidal and boyfriend who is still alive for me and he is suicidal and me it is so much weight on my shoulders come home my parents ignore me i hear my mom talk at night saying with me or my sister her life would be easier and better and she wouldnt have to waste so much money and she is constantly getting in my face and my dad hasnt been in my llife ive tried suicide a few time gun and overdose neither seems too work