After 20+ years of a bad marriage I have had all my dreams and hopes dashed to pieces. There really is nothing left, no hope, no possibility, no future. All sacrificed for nothing….
Right now everyone in my day to day life seems to exist to take, take, take…. There is no escape. From the moment I get out of the house to the moment I return is filled with people demanding I give them something. My future X is asking for everything… (quite literally). It turns out that what I was simply a method of financial security…. How could I have been so stupid… I sacrified my life for a love that never really existed, how pathetic.
I have three special needs children who are out of the house and continually call with demands… Everyone needs something… I have nothing left to give…. but somehow tomorrow I will find a way… I hope…
I come home to an empty house, I haven’t had so much as a date in 4 months. I am the proverbial best friend and nice guy that never gets the girl.. Why should she be interested…. who would want a part of this life?
I dream of just walking away from everything, to going into the mountains and letting the cold take me…. My friends know my pain, but there is nothing they can do. My family is concerned, but there is really nothing they can do. I pray, but my prayers remain unanswered. The only reason I am alive is my faith and my belief that suicide is morally wrong. I have started to pray that God takes me home. There is nothing here for me…
Not sure why I’m writing this… Perhaps tomorrow… but then how many times have I thought this. Try to make it though one more day… Please Lord, make the pain go away.
3 comments
i will be back to leaveyou another comment. send me an email, i encourge you to do so. PLease. silly.snowball@yahoo.com
Just like you, I pray to god to take me away but have you ever thought, maybe he’s keeping you here for a reason, just wait it out and God will show you that reason.
you sound like a very good man Sir, really, intelligent and sensitive. What I can tell you is that the pain you are going through now is unavoidable. Now it is you, yesterday it was me, tomorrow it will probably be me again or someone else. I think this is the right forum to find a lady with a heart who cares. Honestly, I am finding the best people on this web who are in most of the cases, the victims of the “beatiful people” out there. What will happen is that little by little your organism will build and rebuild itself into the adaptation, you can help by introducing some events or inputs in your life that were not part of it before. By working between your organism and your positive actions that is how you get back to normal, and once you are starting to feel ok, you can congratulate yourself because a woman who chose you for the financial security is someone you need to get rid off as quick as you can. You will find another companion, if you actively search it but it will be hard, just because nearly everything like that is difficult