It’s pretty hard to find help that actually helps. Everyone has the same advice: seek help, talk to someone, think of the people that love you, change your life, get a better job, find love, etc. These are easy things to say when you are on the opposite of each of these and when you just don’t know what help to seek when the help you get is no help at all. For me, talking doesn’t do much. I have a very hard time trusting people because of the way people have been to me in the past, so any advice, anything a therapist has to say is meaningless to me. For me, I arrived at this decision because I tried it all. I tried talking, but talking only made me feel more guilty. I’ve tried getting a better job. I’m not looking for more money, just people who treat me like a civilized person. I’ve tried love and love did not love me back. I’ve plead to God every single day of my life as far as I can remember and God has chosen to turn her back on me. I’ve plead and given thanks and follow the good path in hopes of falling into his graces, but every day he chooses to make it as bad as the day before or a little bit worse. I follow her commandments and God still denies me kindness. I no longer see God in every flower, in every child, in every bird. I only feel a cloud of darkness and feel evil all around me. I smile at everyone. I’m kind to everyone. I bite my tongue so as not to speak ill of anyone. I let everyone cut in in front of me at the interchange because it’s the kind thing to do, yet life rewards me with loss, misfortune, accidents, illness, violence, libelous gossip, mistreatment, humiliation, loneliness and abandon. I think the choice to turn your back on life is when life takes so much away from you. Has anyone read “The Giving Tree?”. For many of us, we are nothing but the stump at the end of the book. A person on
http://suicideproject.org/2009/05/how-to-kill-myself-in-a-second-without-pain/
said it best with her comment:
misogyny Says:
June 14th, 2009 at 6:02 am People are hilarious. They treat fellow human beings like excrement, especially anyone who has the misfortune of being different in any way. Then they act surprised when people who’ve been treated like garbage all their lives want to die. It’s true what George Carlin said, “Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!â€
I, like many here, typed a question on Google: How to kill myself without anyone finding out it’s suicide
This question brought us to this and many other sites.
3 comments
I have found that many in my life are just selfish pricks. I am where you are at. And while I feel I must calm, that I have arrived at an early mid-life crisis, I don’t think so. This world has gotten cold. Technology has made people weak and lame and total assholes. I know people that are completely rude and expect an apology from the people they verbally abused. It is unbelievable. I actually cannot believe how cowardly people are. If I say something to someone and they get mad, I apologize, for obviously not knowing what I said was hurtful. But I know people that say nothing, that act as if I have the problem when they are being dicks. And, somehow, I am surrounded by these mentally deficient people.
I know where you are coming from. To be sensitive is to be “I didn’t know you were THAT sensitive!” to these people. We are a dying breed. I want to leave this world and let the pricks have it for their own. They created it, they should now rot in it.
Happy Thanksgiving I am not about this year.
Yes your life has been unfair like mine. But I’m happy. Why…..?
Because thats what life is all about. You must be kind, polite and generous. This world is a mere examination. Imagine yourself knowing all the answers but without a pen. It’s just like that. God haven’t turn back on you. The righteous suffer, but they are rewarded after apocalypse. Imagine yourself as a pious religion-lover. You keep away everything and live a simple God Loving life, and someone comes to you saying “pity, he’s doing all this things while there we are going to parties and being happy. Pity, what if there’s no Heaven and Hell? Then you’re just wasting your life.” and then you say “I am living through severe circumstances. Even if there is no Heaven and Hell in the grave I’ll be at peace. But what if there is? Then I’ll surely go to heaven.”
Think yourself and be just the way you are and be Godly. You WILL be rewarded by GOD at the grave and the Day of Judgement. As God said, “The pious lives long, through punishment and death, while they live in the gardens of Eden after death. While the unworthy lives long, being given the chance to purify themselves while they lose it, and they fall at the grave.”
Please do not think about committing suicide, as you will be rewarded.
Forgotten none of that therapist, Oprah, fortune cookie crap worked for me either… Remember someone loves you, life will get better…BLAH BLAH BLAH
The thing is, you have to be able to accept you have a problem, want to get help, then be willing to help yourself, because you can’t get help, if you feel that you are already helpless/hopeless.
It is never over, until YOU say it’s over. Sounds cliche’. Oh well, it’s the truth. As soon as you choose to make the fateful decision to give up on LIFE itself…that’s when it’s over.
If you need someone to talk to who you can build your trust up with, you can talk to me, Jennifer.
Email: stolenname123@yahoo.com