As title says it all.
If I don’t get myself enough numb for such pain and hurt I’ll be gone forever. I’m sure I’ll be alive for a while, I’ll manage and have felt the worst so I’m pretty sure I can handle it for a bit more. Even though if I can’t, I won’t think about it twice, I’ll just do it. I’m so tired of feeling this hurt in my mind, and feel enough pain in my soul too. I’ve heard that “The one that has felt pain, will gain stregth”. But I do not believe I’ve gained enough stregth, eventually I’m losing it; I wish I never felt anything, but I don’t believe wishes come true.
I can not wait forever for something that won’t happen. My hope is lost, my pain goes strong, my tears fill my eyes and cheeks, my soul my body and mind breaks out in thr mindless moment. This is what I’ve become in the last five miserable years. Possibly the sooner or later I’ll be free.
I want to tell everyone what I can’t say.
For now, happiness can not be found.