Well I thought things were looking up. ran an awesome district race for cross and everything but the next day my gf dumps me for a runner who is ranked in the nation. im trying to move on but that coupled with only getting a 3.4 gpa(yeah it seems so bad i know but when your used to a 5.0 it sucks.) i just dont want anything anymore. i told the people who ive writtten letters to how to get them off my laptop and i figured out how to make my suicide look like an accident. no on will ever know i actually committed suicicde. ill get into a street race while intoxicated and when the unguarded bridge embankment on 90 comes along so long me. one totalled subaru with all saftey features disabled and no seatbelt. ill turn into a nice mush that they can mop up throw in a bag and burn. no one will notice or care. besides my team but who cares they can replace their number three. i just want to die. as a teen im already dead. all i ever do is run and even that now makes me sad. i have nothing to take the stress away. the stress of living its self is now too great. i have no one so why stay alive. i did all my parents ever wanted. i made eagle in boy scouts and nhs in school. now i can die and they will be lie whatever at least he was a good kid while he lasted. they dont even know im depressed or on meds for it or that my sisters have taken me to be treated for my suicide attempts of the past. at least this one noone can stop. my car makes around 400hp since ive finished building it up. there s nothing keeping this from working. itll be the first race i ever lost but oh well. the world will be better off.