Well I thought things were looking up. ran an awesome district race for cross and everything but the next day my gf dumps me for a runner who is ranked in the nation. im trying to move on but that coupled with only getting a 3.4 gpa(yeah it seems so bad i know but when your used to a 5.0 it sucks.) i just dont want anything anymore. i told the people who ive writtten letters to how to get them off my laptop and i figured out how to make my suicide look like an accident. no on will ever know i actually committed suicicde. ill get into a street race while intoxicated and when the unguarded bridge embankment on 90 comes along so long me. one totalled subaru with all saftey features disabled and no seatbelt. ill turn into a nice mush that they can mop up throw in a bag and burn. no one will notice or care. besides my team but who cares they can replace their number three. i just want to die. as a teen im already dead. all i ever do is run and even that now makes me sad. i have nothing to take the stress away. the stress of living its self is now too great. i have no one so why stay alive. i did all my parents ever wanted. i made eagle in boy scouts and nhs in school. now i can die and they will be lie whatever at least he was a good kid while he lasted. they dont even know im depressed or on meds for it or that my sisters have taken me to be treated for my suicide attempts of the past. at least this one noone can stop. my car makes around 400hp since ive finished building it up. there s nothing keeping this from working. itll be the first race i ever lost but oh well. the world will be better off.
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is it because of your girlfriend? shit, i have gone through that several times and i never fared well. one time i had the blues for 6 months. I perfectly know the suffering because as a matter of fact i happen to be quiet vulnerable in that field. It depends on how your emotional wellbeing has been cared for since childhood. If you are on red figures, then you are bad off for those cases in life. What I am saying is that I doubt your circumstances are as bad as they have been mine for what I would encourage you to give yourself time despite the fact that i perfectly know that now the contemplation of doing away with yourself is like a relief and you love the idea. In some way it is part of the natural reaction of the body, even though some people like you or me grab that possibility all too often. However, we are wrong and what my body and mind are teaching me is that i should and you too, work on the emotions rather than going down the drain. I have always been extremely sweet, and now i am turning into a hardcore, although i still keep my humanity intact so become a hardcore and you will discover like i have, a new potent perfect in you. who knows, maybe you can recover your girl that way or after a while you show off with another girl
What if your car accident dosen’t work and you wind up locked in some paralysed state for the rest of your life? What if someone is in the wrong place at the wrong time and you kill them. Those are just the logitics.
The reality is that My Son actually succeded in killing himself and I can not even count the number of people that have been devastated by his loss.
Have you ever heard that we are only as sick as the secrets we keep? You and your sisters are keepign a secret from your Parents who deserve the right to help you. Yeah that might be akward at it. they might not know where to start but if you kill yourself your sisters will bear that burden alone because they will know the truth. If your taking a/d and not feeling better 1. it hasn’t been enough time or 2. The meds are not right. Settling for feelign less than you can is not acceptable. I did this becasue I didn’t know how to get help. I am finally on good meds. I work at it in Therapy. I learned a lot of coping skills. And I have and emergency plan. GO TO THE ER WHEN SUCIDAL! CHECK MYSELF IN! My Son was hurt and angry, he was struggling with getting his life back on track after drugs. He took out all that anger on himself. I just wished he would have called me or his Father back. Your family will forever miss your precense.
Call 1-800-273-TALK Stay here pls.