I’m an 18yr old student from England, 2 months into Uni life, and just feel like I’ve hit rock bottom. Reading everyone elses stories my story feels small and insignificant. I’ve fucked up several relationships recently, two being unrequited love, and other where she was way out of my league, she was interested and somehow i managed to fuck it up, and feel as though no one outside my family would really care if i died, and no one would really be affected if i went. part of me thought that the world would be a better place if i wasnt alive, being a burden on taxpayers and my parents as a student, but then i realised what made me suicidally depressed, which is that I have had absolutly no effect in life, and the world would not change at all whether i lived or died. Since i have been at Uni i have hit the bottle every night, whether it was with other people or alone in my room, drinking and the occasional drug took the edge off the depression, allowing me to sleep or to help me put on a smile for a night out. I feel there is no point in trying to talk to friends, because i have spoken to two of my friends at Uni, one of them, a light hearted friendly female just took the piss out of me saying “just let me go and get the smallest violin in the world..”, and the other girl just told me I was being ‘Silly’. This, as well as a week of genuinely shit days, where absolutely nothing has gone right, has made me think that I have absolutely no point carrying on living, so i might as well become a statistic for the professionals to get more funding to help those in my situation who have a fighting chance of beating this,
one more rough day and will be a statistic
Johnny
3 comments
Hello, my alias is Phoung. Its nice to meet you. I’ll back to leave you another commen,but i do encourag you to talk to me. i do check my mail daily. silly.snowall@yahoo.com
Hello Johnny,
I just wanted to stop by and let you know that if you ever need someone to talk to, or if you just need a friend you can always reach me at Angel_1148259@hotmail.com. Sorry about your relationships, I know how that goes -_- as for your friends… that was horrible. I can’t believe they would joke around when you needed someone. People just don’t get it. Anyway..
Hope to hear from you,
Whitney
I too have recently started uni and have found it incredibly difficult to fit in. I have made no friends there and the only friends i have are 2 people back in leeds. my days now are pretty much spent on the ps3, talking to my only 2 friends on msn or mixing music, not that that will ever lead to anything. no matter what i do people just seem to go out of their way to not talk to me. i feel stupid now cos im reading about people on here with whole lifes full of shit, but i just feel so fucking lonely, have done for about 5 years now. i dont even have any family to fall back on either, only live with my mum and my brother and see my auntie pretty much once every two months. i just dont understand why, the freinds i have i am really really close to, even talked one of them out of suicide 3 times cos of a loooong term relationship tht went wrong. i dont feel as though im a twat, but people just seem to see me as a peice of shit on the floor. ive never ever had anybody to talk to anbout stuff and have always bottled it up yet i always seem to be the person that people come to to moan anbout stuff. after sitting in ever lasting lectures at the back on my own and never going out and having no motivation for my uni course or anything im just getting really really down. if anyone wants to talk thn j-ray2000@hotmail.co.uk is where u cn gt hold of me. sorry for wasting ur time with such a long comment but after keeping everything in for years then only just getting the balls to say anything about it its a bit hard to know what to say without drawing it out.