I had it all, I really had it all. For so many years I thought i was the luckiest person in the world. I loved playing football, I loved school and most of all i loved my beautiful mother and my family. What was once a dream turned into a nightmare that just wont stop? I’m a good and quiet kid, why won’t this demon like me alone. The day I lost my mother my whole life has changed. my heart is like a puzzle. I needed my mother to complete it. All my pieces are gone now. I watched my own mother die in my own hands after being shot myself. I don’t deserve this. My story only gets worst. two things i loved the most in life where taken away from me. I was playing football in college and made a stupid decision and got kicked off the team. I worked my whole life for this. I can’t afford school. No matter how hard i study i can pass my classes. Nothing is going my way. This week i found out I’m losing my mother home. all her hard work gone. this world is so mean, so cruel, i hate it, im so sorry to my siblings im so sorry i cry now thinking how bad im going to be missed but i been living in pain for the past 2 years. i cant take it, i just cant take it, i don’t need help i don’t need anything, I’m not a quitter, these are only half of my problems, everyone see me and thinks everything is all good. I hide the pain but for no longer will i have to deal with this pain, its no one fault don’t cry for me and don’t feel sorry, i will finally be happy and at peace.
3 comments
I wish we could talk.. You see, my life is falling apart too and I feel like you don’t really want this. You feel you need it and I feel the same way. But I’d hope you could talk with me..
i wish we could really talk i can c and hear the pain and confusment in this
shit, i fully understand but do you think there could be something that if you could get it would make your life more bearable? I mean the lost of your mother definitively shatters you and i doubt you can be the same, it is true, we all remain touched and damaged at such events in our lives, but depending on the different circumstances of the individuals some fare better than others. I am of the ones who fare very bad, but still think that if i could get some things i would improve my situation although i would never fully recover. maybe you could also think of that?