I’m 18 year’s old..i’ve always had suicidal thought, i was a cutter forÂ 3 year’s then started doing cocaine to try to fix the fucked up feeling’s in me. I stopped cutting and doing drug’s and got onto anti-depressent’s they seemed to work really well i finally felt what i assumed normal people feel like, but because im going to be 19 in a week or so im going to be cut off my mom’s drug plan witch is making the anti-depressents way to expensive to afford so im slowly being weined off them and im back to feeling my old self, and i hate it. I dont want to get out of bed, i dont want to eat, i dont want to see anyone i just want to lie here in bed all day and die. I started cutting again last night after not doing it for almost 4 years, it felt so bitter sweet and realized how much i missed it. I can’t stand this feeling anymore and im going to make it end tonight hopfully.