so difficult, so mysterious, we ask for so much; recieve so little.
what do we have to live for?…thats for you to decide.
i personally am angry at it. how can it give us so much pain? heartbreaks,death, losses, killings. whats wrong with the world?! its getting more and more pathetic every day and thats just sad.. and i have no one to tell my problems to because they dont understand how i feel, what i hate, and what i cant live for. i have no god to pray to, because sadly, i have no point of view in religion anymore.. is there really such a god?or are we simply creating this figure so we can have something to live for? how do we know god exists? we actually have no proof.. man wrote the bible. and apprently “god told them what to write” they couldve been crazy in the mind!
im a catholic, i had my communion and confirmation, but lately ive been having this doubt..
it all started when i fell in love with my best friend. his name is Danny. hes amazing. hes my soul mate. i know this is pretty big stuff for a 14 year old. but i know love when i feel it. and compared to any other guy that ive been with, i love him the most..but hes dating my other best friend Lizette.. theyre wrong for each other! everyone thinks that they make a bad couple. shes not his type. no where near it. she caused him to much pain. now i dread going to school,, knowing i;ll see them acting all lovey dowvey. IT SICKENS ME. i hate it!!
for no reason at all, i dont feel like doing anything anymore.. like i need to get new friends, and a new life.. because honestly, Lizette isnt my best friend. she barely comes over my house anymore. i know that she secretly hates me, and i do too. so i need a REAL best friend..
this is why i want to end my life..
but now i realize, i can get over this stuff.. im just complaining. it could be worse.. i could be living on the street or have nothing. so whenever i feel down, i think ‘i can get over this, and i will’ and as for religion.. i’ll know eventually what to believe in.. myself and god.
thanks for reading.