I really don’t know how to start this. My whole life people have expected so much from me as I have too but lately I feel that I just keep messing up. I don’t study hard enough, I’ve lost my love for soccer which was my only release. Maybe college isn’t right for me. In my heart I know it’s the only way I will get out of poor life I’ve had but everyday just seems harder. The older I get the more things seem to sink in. I’m only 19 and I want to end it now. NO. I can’t but at the same time I don’t know what the point of living is. God has given me so much but I feel like I’ve even let him down. I’m not the person I was. Life used to be so amazing just the thought of waking up to a new day made me so happy. I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep hiding this from everyone. No one knows about this part of me. I’m just the funny soccer player that likes everyone in the world. I’ve learned to accept everyone I’ve ever met. I can honestly say that I’ve never hated anyone in my entire life but I don’t understand how I can accept everyone around me but how can I not accept myself.