I really don’t know how to start this. My whole life people have expected so much from me as I have too but lately I feel that I just keep messing up. I don’t study hard enough, I’ve lost my love for soccer which was my only release. Maybe college isn’t right for me. In my heart I know it’s the only way I will get out of poor life I’ve had but everyday just seems harder. The older I get the more things seem to sink in. I’m only 19 and I want to end it now. NO. I can’t but at the same time I don’t know what the point of living is. God has given me so much but I feel like I’ve even let him down. I’m not the person I was. Life used to be so amazing just the thought of waking up to a new day made me so happy. I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep hiding this from everyone. No one knows about this part of me. I’m just the funny soccer player that likes everyone in the world. I’ve learned to accept everyone I’ve ever met. I can honestly say that I’ve never hated anyone in my entire life but I don’t understand how I can accept everyone around me but how can I not accept myself.
3 comments
Ah, I used to be EXACTLY like you. The solution is simple: find a good friend that you trust and can share just about anything with, and tell them about your problems. It may seem awkward at first, but if you are talking to the right person, they will understand. If you ever need someone to talk to, email me at: something90909@gmail.com
the stress that the world puts on you – that is one of the devil’s ways of sucking you in. he often makes offers of worldly things to us too. just like the devil offered Jesus every kingdom on earth if He would only bow down, worship, and serve only him – the devil offers us the same kind of things, but for some of us, he barely has to offer anymore than a french fry, like we’re hungry dogs or something. he offers all worldly things, all things that satisfy the desires of the flesh, and that point toward treasure on earth rather than in heaven. this can’t be a part of your life. you’ve got to separate yourself from the devil and the pit he has dragged you and so many others into. save yourself before it’s too late.
please read my post here: http://suicideproject.org/2009/12/please-read-this/
If you wanna come and talk to me, i encourage you. I check my emails everyday so dont hesitate.
(Silly.snowball@yahoo.com)