This makes my third attempt in total.
all my life i’ve been told i’m a fuck up and i can’t end up life because i never try but the truth is i try my hardest.
i’m only 15 years old in 10th grade but the feelings are getting the best of me.
i feel like i never do anything and never will, so there would be no point to living or loving
my parents and brothers fail to show me the attention that i so despirately need. I don’t try to feel this way, i don’t want to to feel this way, but i do and i cannot help it.
i currently have a therapist for cutting myself continuously.
i have many friends but i doubt that they really care for me.
i smoke with my friends sometimes because it helps me get away from reality.
One morning i made a choice to try and end everything so i decided to take lots and lots of extra-strength Tylenol (500mg) i remember taking around 30. i decided that today i would take them and still go to school just to make everyone sorry when i die in front of them. i got to class early and told my teach that i felt sick so she came up to me and felt my forehead saying that “you don’t look or feel sick” but i definately was. later i ran infront of the class and puked in the trashcan catching everyones attention. but went home from “illness” and no one ever knew why.
till this day i constantly cut myself andcontemplate my own death and how i would do it. i’ve thought of jumping off the third floor in school, shooting myself with my non-existant gun, running infront of a large truck on the highway, burning myself, cutting my wrists, pills, and drowning, along with certain combinations of these things.