hide and seek.

my leg is bleeding from the cutting i just enjoyed. i hate my life. i’m doing this to stop me from overdosing but i’m reasonably close to. its been 8 years since he died. first xmas without her and my last xmas with the other him.

what the fuck am i waiting for?

i wrote my funeral notes the other night. what songs i wanted played. a poem i wanted read out.  who i wanted mentioned. messages to the people who have kept me alive for the last tedious nearly 21years. i hope i don’t make it to my 21st but i want to be around for my 21st.

i’m addicted to this site. i hate reading that other people are in pain but cant definately identify with what is written in most of these posts. i wish i could write something more interesting for you all to read. but for now i have some lyrics.

hide & seek

imogen heap

where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking feeling

spin me round again
and rub my eyes,
this can’t be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines (oh, you won’t catch me around here)
blood and tears (hearts)
they were here first

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it’s all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that it’s just what we need
you decided this
whatcha say?
Mmmm what did she say?

ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no I don’t believe you
you don’t care a bit,
you don’t care a bit

(hide and seek)
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs

(hide and seek)
speak no feeling no i don’t believe you
you don’t care a bit,
you don’t care a (you don’t care a) bit

(hide and seek)
oh no, you don’t care a bit
oh no, you don’t care a bit

(hide and seek)
oh no, you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit