I only wanted to sleep!

There were no signs, I had a stressful week at work. It was a Saturday night I had a couple of glass of bubbly at my xmas work party. Being on medication meant i had about 10 glasses! My partner and I had a big fight, we have them every now and again, we both have bipolar. In the heat of the fight I said I was I would just die, his response was just do it then. I was in tears screaming at him and he was angry, real angry! He went for a drive which is normal after a fight, gives us space to calm down. While he was gone I txt my friend asking if I could come over, she was asleep. I didnt think about it, I just starting taking pills after pills. It would have been hundreds, I just wanted to sleep. Then my head started hurting so I started taking pain killers. Once I thought it was enough i got into bed, set my alarm clock for work and went to sleep. Bad idea………

I woke up in ICU on Monday afternoon.

My partner came home Saturday night went to bed, not knowning what i had done. He woke up to my alarm clock and to find myself drowning in my own vomit. He saved my life!

Now I have a chest infection and I am back at home trying to understand what happen. I dont know why I did it or what came over me. I am getting help but I was before anyway. I dont know how to feel.