I have been living together with my fiancee for almost 6 years. Last night he told me that he made his descision and wants to break up with me. My heart is broken. He was the last person I had left in my life who loved me, and now he wants to leave. Our relationship has been tough, but we have been through so much, I just don’t understand why he is giving up now. We were planning on getting married in April, and now I just don’t know what to do with myslef. I have had suicidal thoughts since I was 12 years old, and they are all coming back to me. I feel like I can’t breathe. I just want him to stay with me I love him so much, and cannot picture my life with anyone else but him. He is my soul mate, and I want nothing more than to work out our problems, and live our lives together. I wish he understood how I felt, but he wouldn’t even give me an explanation or tell me what made him to decide to end everything. Where did it all go wrong, I know we’ve had lots of financial problems with the economy being the way it is, I guess we just get to ba another statistic. Statistic for a couple not working out after having been together for so many years, statistic for me having to maybe kill myself. I just want him to know that I love him. I always have, and I always will. He is my everything, and will always be.
4 comments
You have a beautiful love in yourself.
I dont know what to say.
Life sometimes makes this kind of things with us.
Each person reacts by a different way.
If i said the mine, i would not help.
I will say the good part of my reaction:
Im writing almost everything.
Im showing to the persons i like.
And i will show more. And i will feel released.
Until i give an end to the story. (thats the part i wont tell. But you can imagine… im not going to do anything bad to anyone, no…).
Maybe you can find a way without him. If you want, you will, with time. With time, even dont wanting.
But in my case, i still love my girlfriend after five years she died.
Time “fights” with me, like he “dont wanted” me to love her, but im trying very hard. And i think i will win.
Never fall in love with someone else before you learn to love yourself. Love youself first. I love you already. My sister got cheated on by the guy she had planned everything with. She lost a part of her life. But she went on. She now is happily moving foward. She let him go eventhough it was pure torture. But sweetie, you need to let him go..what will killing yourself prove…nothing. He may need time and you’d be dead if you went through with it…give it time. Time heals everything. oh and by the way, if you truly loved him you would let him go….
Your writing brought tears to my eyes. The pain is harrowing. Depending on your sensitivity you will never fully recover from it. The way you write pretty much tells you are one of these beautiful individuals with deep sensitivity. Years may go by and the scar will remain. I know it out of own experience and I have seen other girls shattered. They got themselves another boyfriend but it could never repair the damage in their hearts. They never love these like they first loved to their first love.
To the guy Emzly13. No. Time does not heal everything. Scars do remain and the individual never fully recovers. He remains touched and that will be noticeable even after years, listening to a sad song will bring him to pieces, the inability to fully laugh like one used to etc.
And the second thing. No, if you truly loved him, you would let him go, that is odiously insensitive. If you truly loved him indeed do go to pieces, cry and cry until you cannot stop doing it.
I think your first refuge now is crying and feeling fully depressed.
I find myself in your same situation and with the same thoughts
Jasonkidd. I am shattered and terribly sorry at reading about the death of your girlfriend. You are tied to her for eternity and I would be proud of you if you could honour your love to her by remaining close to her forever until you meet again. Your words of “i still love the girlfriend after five years she died” are of immense beauty and that is how it must be. You are one of those few in the world who truly love. I would never recover from something like that and I would not want to recover. Maintain her in your heart. There is nothing more beautiful than that. God bless you man.