Sad… again

This is my first blog, and as the title says I feel sad. What happens when somebody stops loving you? I mean how can you stop loving someone, and NO I do not mean a boyfriend, I mean a father (I have been wondering about this for 12 years and many attempts to kill myself later have not found the answer). I’m living barely but here and I still don’t know how to handle the situation but got plenty of problems. Back to this one, I have the same DNA as this person, if he needs a organ I’m one of his best shot at living (he is an alcoholic he going to mean a new liver sometime). I mean he carried me, changed my diaper, taught me how to swim, ride a bike, was the first person I remember saying ‘I love you’ too. He has a new family now, and I have not spoken to him about THREE years, now I should be the bigger person and reach out to him but I can’t get hurt again. But he can reach out to my sisters and brother, telling them how he misses them and LOVES them, but not me. Thats it for today I need sleep I’m sick, bye.