fml. I am finished, finished trying to stop myself, finished letting people stop me. I need to cut, I need that release. You can’t stop me. I am consumed with hurt, pain, and a desire to die. That desire is overwhelming me and I just want to die. I can’t do it anymore, I won’t do it anymore. I pray that I will die and that’s not working. I don’t think I have the strength to pull the trigger but eventually I know I will. I want to die on a wednesday, before church. The people that have hurt me most are at church and they know that I never miss a wednesday. I want them to regret the way they have treated me. I want her, her specifically, to feel horrible. Because she has pushed me to my limit!!
I want to be dead, because this. This pain. I can’t handle it. Death is my only desire.
8 comments
sounds like u have a lot of hurt and anger… u r not alone… i’d like to listen to u…please talk… lifemoreordinary@hotmail.com
Death isn’t the solution.. So you have problems, a lot of people do. Did you consider moving? Starting over someplace new? Think of the people you’ll hurt, who you’ll leave behind.. There are other ways to deal than suicide.. Think about it..
Cutting yourself does not hurt others – only you. Seperate yourself from the people that cause you the pain by moving on with your life, not ending it.
Umm, unfortuantly I am 12 and cannot separate myself from my parents, therefore I cannot move on.
lol i know how you feel… i stopped cutting myself for a while, but i started up again recently. im 14 so i cant leave my parents either… Wish i could though. i just keep thinking 4 more years and i can leave and never see them again.
Sorry to hear that Whiteylover – So, if you can’t separate from your parents, look for other positive role models that you can believe in. None of this is easy – can’t imagine being 12 and having to deal with crap parents. Isn’t there someone in your life who treats you well? Try to keep an open mind – Easier said than done – but can be done with work. That’s how you move on – live for yourself – be strong & Good luck.
Hah, that’s shit. My one and only positive role model turns out to be a drug addict and a bitchy liar. Thanks for the advice, but I’m not talking it.
That is a sad thing for you, Whiteylover. To each his/her own. We all must find our own ways to get through life. I hope you find a better way than cutting. I just share thoughts on things that have worked in my life. I have lived with depression longer than you have been alive – so, I too have had my share of crap to deal with – but, I’m still here and I’m not cutting anymore, don’t want to either and I don’t feel suicidal either. That is not something that many people here can see – that holding on for 5 minutes longer, then 10 minutes, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week and so on will get you through the tunnel to the sunshine on the other side. But, again, we all have our own experiences and ways of dealing with it all.