January 14th, 2010 by drawingfool

I wish I were dead. There I wrote it. I’m too much of a coward to actually go about killing myself so I’m stuck with just wishing I were dead. I’m 32 years old, I’ve never had a girlfriend in my life, have a shitty customer service job that barely pays the bills and I’m stuck under a mountain of debt with the very real possibility of losing my house. I would think it would be impossible for someone to be this pathetic, this much of a loser, but its like life has conspired to make sure my life is a joke. I remember in high school when I’d get picked I’d hear the usual crap like “you’ll be more successful when you grow up” and guess what those same people are married, with better jobs making a lot more money.

I’m sure some people are saying “You asshole there are starving people in Africa, or people with disabilities, etc who would love to have your life!” Well first off do you think I don’t know that? Fuck you, yeah I know there are people who are worse off, I never said I there is no one worse off than me.

Even if my life turned around tomorrow I’m still a loser who  never had a girlfriend at 32 w/ a shitty job. Fuck my life, I wish I had the courage to end it or at least could die in my sleep tonight after I go to bed.

P.S. – I’m a true atheist. So don’t bother commenting if all your going to do is proselytize. There is no God, get over it.

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