I wish no one to bother with this post, I just need to write to get it out.
I can not take all of this anymore, everything has gone wrong in my life, with the mystery mental illness I have, if I new what it was then maybe I could help myself or something, but I don’t know what it is, I have not slept properly in about 10 months, during this time I have changed so much, I don’t know why I wanted to live, ive attempted suicide a number of times, but i have always bottled it at the last moment because I didn’t want to hurt my friends like that, but now they hate me for a number of reasons which I can not be bother explaining, again, its all about the mystery mental illness.
Im driving myself to insanity, and I don’t want to. I would rather die than live through another day like this, its torture every minute of every day, Ive looked and asked for help but nothing.
so I cba with life anymore.