high im trying to save my self and it might help you

high my name is tim ever since i was 13 ihave thought about comiting suicid when i was 13 i watched my dad about choke the life out of my mother and i had been through some big relationships and i found my self getting very mad from being cheated on and holding stuff in and growing very mad and i thought about killing my self because i seenmy self becoming like my dad and it scared me so i tookin drinking smoking dope and snorting coke or skying i dont know what they call it now and ive tasted a gun in