WHY THE FUCK AM I THE STUPID ***** WHO ALWAYS THINKS SHE CAN TRUST SOMEONE!!!!! I ALWAYS GET FUCKED OVER! FUCK THIS WORLD! IM LEAVING!!!!!!!!!!!! IM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT!!!!!
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
117 comments
Whoa whoa whoa. Breathe hun. What’s going on?
always trust people and they fuck me over every time. basically i trusted my ex who WAS my friend and told him everything about why i havent been in school, the suicide, the cutting, the depression, the mental hospital, and he said he wasnt going to tell any one and now i found out hes telling the entire school.
Calm down mate, look think things through first yeah?
but if you are REALLY sure this is your only option then….well good luck, but if you do need to talk, just email me, helpme@live.co.uk
Fuck, he’s jerk.
“hey guess what everyone shes suicidal and depressed and she cuts herself and has been committed to a mental hospital and is bulimic and is an emo kid who fucks up all the time!!!!” god fucking dammit!!! i hate myself!!!!
He is a jerk, and you deserve better. I’ve trusted people with a lot of my secrets and they have turned around and stabbed me in the back. It’s hard no lie. and to be totally honest i’m not all sure what to say. But if he actually does this than he is a really big *****. One because he isn’t a trustworthy person, and two because this is a really big thing and him telling people, I mean I know if my best friend told everyone at my church that I was suicidal, that would push me over the edge. and hun, don’t hate yourself! You are amazing whether you believe it or not you are. You have so much potential and you can’t let things get in your way. People will work their asses off to tear you down and you can’t let them.
Rach
to bad they do. i go to a school full of rednecks…. “emo” kids get eatten alive.
Hold it hold it. You have to realize something. They are kids, they are still not mature to deal with and understand other people. For example, the adults of my age, we dont do that, we understand the individuality of every person and his or her circumstances. We know that today is me tomorrow is you. But kids are not like that.
So, “wishIcould” dont be angry at her or at him because they are kids.
fuck that shit. hes 18. i dont give a fuck if hes a “kid” by 18 you should fucking understand the concept of confidentiality.
I would say you should transfer, but with your parents and all that’s probably not likely to happen.
Whoa whoaaaa and how old are you?
17
But you are as you’re. Even if it’s all true, fuck everyone. No one of them was in your position, no one has to fight with pain like you. And no one of them could understand. I bet that many of them can’t stand what you feel for a single day so they have no right to look down on you.
they dont see it like that. trust me ive been there for 3 years now and i used to have red neck friends. the way they talk about the “emo” kids is “theyre so fucking weak with theyre depression and razor blades”
guys at 18 they are mostly kids unless they have been depressed 🙂
Usually you never know who your friend is until both of you are at least 25, that is when people are more stabilized.
Justalvaro, no offense but I don’t think your helping.
@Tiger 😛 they know shit, we are not weak, i would bet that if any one of those children went throguh the shit some people on this site like you and i have been throguh they would do the same thing.
there is another way to beat that now that I am thinking. Why dont you turn everything upside down by starting a revolution with yourself such as start making yourself beautiful, new hairdressing, make up, eating healthier, putting off some weight, sort of things that make one feel better. I have experienced that myself, when I get the haircut that I like and dress myself alright I look like some Top Exec from Switzerland. After all they are things that are under your control. Then, people react more positively to me than if I hang around like an unshaven beggar
ha. putting off some weight. did i meantion i have a bulimia problem….
@whiteylover. Where have I stated that they are weak? Can you signal the line or the paragraph?
yes, and i am sure you know that the bulimia is not the central problem but a reaction to it. That is, you could replace the bulimia by a positive mechanism of control.
my methods of control are razor blades and fingers down my throat.
Dude I said that to Wishicould, not u. sorry for confusion there.
justalvaro: I think that we’re not talking about some shitty bad mood. This state of mind can’t be changed by new haircut or something.
Thank you Entity!
thanks.
what I think you can visualize, even in the distance is that IT IS POSSIBLE for you to steer off and completely dedicate your energy towards positive things for you, which will act as a snow ball in the same way that negative things do. You are not crippled, you are not 90, you are not terminally ill, you are 17, young and intelligent. That is, you can change it anytime you want by being positively aggressive towards breaking this patter of depression.
Depression does not get better by self pity or lamenting. On the contrary, you would be surprised how one can eliminate the depression in 1 day when he or she gets the right input.
clearly you’ve never dealt with depression before. i cant just “think” my way out of it.
IT IS NOT THAT EASY!! Now fuck off!
justalvaro: Are you in some crazy religious cult? The serious depression can’t be eliminated in one day, not even in one week. And you can’t change how you feel by your logical thinking. Believe my I tried to change it by myself and it’s almost impossible. And I think that’s the same for the most of people. btw. self pity is a lot of better
We agree that are not blocking impediments such as catastrophic disability, over age, terminally ill or crippling. They are young and other than that, healthy. A haircut, or a step into making oneself nicer to look at the mirror him herself does have a positive effect. It contributes to cut the circuit of wearing oneself down by neglecting ones aspect or look.
Also. I was able to eliminate a big depression of months in one day by one sentence that my aunt told me when I was 19. I had been pitying myself for months everyday, a health problem that was. And i never got better because everybody was pitting me. So one day my aunt said, we are not going to pay you a psycho that is bloody expensive. That was like a slap on my face that nobody was going to pity me anymore. Puf, end of the depression that very day.
Another one at the age of 30. Took two weeks off work and did not get better at all during these two weeks of self pity. I had to return to work. I was dreading how i was going to deal with that since i was worn out and torn. Phone calls, faxes, meetings, ok i am depressed now , but i have that fax to send, i ll park my depression for a while I attend that meeting etc etc. Depression off before the end of the week. In other words, curling oneself in a ball does not help.
religious cult? have a nice day!
Well said Entity! Goodbye Justalvaro
thx, some people just can’t understand that most of depressions have a physiological origin. And when you try to solve that, you will end up crazy or overstocked with pills from psychiatrist
Yep, depression is NOT at all something that you can get rid of in a day!!!
I think that we should just have a national ” kill yourself” day. so much easier than going through the rest of this shit the world gives us.
ya!!! lol
national kill yourself day rofl It will be the only feast which I would celebrate.
@ wishicould : you can talk to me hun I’ve been and still going all through the Self-Injury kind of thing and there are ways to change that habit but well you’ve to be patient and all, and you have to kick out those ideas of self loathing, just because you’ve been a little messed up doesn’t make you “fucked up” and doesn’t give any rights to people to be judging you, people have different minds and bodies and therefor each person has his own unique personality that can be affected differently by the problems that we go through or even the usual daily issues… and I’d tell you something, well, so what if you’ve been depressed and all?! at least you were committed to a hospital and got a certain medical care for your condition, while other people might be a million times worse than your condition and still they wouldn’t even notice that there’s something wrong…
so at least you know what’s your problems are…
so push away those self loathing thoughts and then measure and solve the roots of your problems,
e-mail me if you like, or visit my page http://my-safe-place1991.spaces.live.com
and talk lol
Thanks for reading
I hope things get better with you …
my thoughts exactly. and btw don’t you just HATE it when people say “oh I know how your feeling,”? I mean come one just drop it, no one knows EXACTLY how I feel!
ha goodness. youre entertaining. how old are you?
brb. gotta go deal with this stupid eating disorder 🙁
None of your cases have any physiological or biochemical origin and for you info I am a Doctor in Pharmacology. I have read all your postings and each and every one of them has an exogenous cause which is beatable.
So, “Entity” I have seen you writing encouraging people to make mistakes, and you bear a responsibility for that. Yet you have people who cheer you for encouraging others to also ruin themselves. They are like you.
So, any of you encouraging someone to make a mistake exploiting their situation of being down is liable.
One thing is being depressed but encouraging others to fatality is evil.
Have a nice day.
haha to bad that i have a licensed PH d psychologist that i have been seeing twice a week for a year and a half and he says its chemical and psychological. but thanks for trying to fix me!
Dude, did we not tell you to fuck off? I know I did! and you know shit so stfu, you can’t relate and you don’t know what any of us are really feeling. just stop it.
Hey wishicould did u read that story i sent you?
ya i did whiteylover. how old are you? are you a girl?
yes and I’m 12
haha i see.
mmhmm
2 justalvaro: I haven’t depression which has physiological origin, I was talking about wishicould. Maybe she hasn’t one, maybe yes I don’t know, but it seems like she has one.
And to that “encouraging” – I believe that death is the solution for problems and also people are thinking beings. They know what they want and what they need. (In the majority of cases) If I want someone “to make a mistake” like you call the death, then I would write something like “Yes you’re right, do it already” but only thing that I wrote in some of older posts was something like “I wish you get what you desire but if you have any doubt don’t do that.”
btw. If I wasn’t such a chicken I would be dead already, this is my opinion about suicide.
hey Entity have u ever posted anything? I was looking for a post of urs and couldn’t find one.
entity how old are you? boy or girl
I didn’t post anything, I just wrote a reply under some posts. And im 24 boy.
idk. but i sure as hell am going to get back. he was the one who pushed me over the edge to bulimia.
okay that works, haha
yeahh
i was with him for a year and he was constantly saying ” i love you but we’d be stronger if you were skinnnier”
WHAT?! *****!!!!
indeed. so here i am barfing up my ONE small slice of pizza.
eww, sorry. I haven’t had anything to eat today.
see im not like most “bulimics” i dont -binge- and purge. i eat barely anything and then throw it up.
I will never understand a people who want from girls to be slim. If it is extreme and someone is corpulent then OK but just because society think that slim is nice…
ive tried the right way to lose weight for years and it never works where as ive lost a pound in 2 days from bumilia
wow
so desperate and unhealthy as it may be, its working.
yeah, i’m not trying to lose weight or anything, i just don’t eat.
i used to weight 108. im up to 140, can you see where that would be a bit depressing?
yes
You too huh? I eat only when i’m just too hungry and then everyone keep telling me why don’t you eat more? Just because I can’t and I don’t want to. I was even questioned if I haven’t anorexia… No I haven’t
i never think im good enough though. i have “you arent good enough” carved into my legs.
Good enough in what?
anything. im never good enough.
wait i thought u didn’t cut anymore wishicould….
i stopped for a while. now i regularly cut my arms and carve my legs.
oh okay, got it, i have never cut but I want to start to see if it will bring me any relief.
its amazing. but be ready for it. its addicting.
yeah, it’s like idk how to do it though…lol.
easy. push a blade, drag it, and it cuts.
hahaha
i use anything i can.
whitey: I have never cut myself or anything else too, but what I know – if you start with it then it will be very hard to stop – it’s like drugs. Your choice.
yeah, it’s whitey not whitny 😛 a nickname, my name is actually Rachel. and thanks.
i see.
Yes.
I wrote whitey – just a shortcut from whiteylover 😉
Okay haha that works.
Have either of you had a plan or currently have a plan to commit suicide? if so what is it?
yes. i would overdose or slit my wrists.
overdose or shoot myself is mine.
I was considering how can I do it. First of all the pills and overdose from… for example Tylenol is out. It’s just too risky, many of people who done it have survived. If I try it once i wish it would work. I’m thinking about slash my wrist, but I don’t know how much pain it would cause and how reliable is it.
Also im sorry for my parents who will find me after that (i’m still living with them, damn if only I have my own flat) – it will be too much of pain for them. This things prevent me from doing it, for now.
Yeah, that’s true. although i hate my parents so it wouldn’t matter to me.
my dad is awesome. so i cant let him find me.
mhm
Anyway what’s with that popular method – to slit your wrist in warm bath? Why people do it in the bath? Is it because it would cause a less mess or any other reason?
the warm water makes your veins open up more. it makes the blood flow better AND it thins out your blood so it goes faster. and less messy
hmm, good question.
Oh that’s it! It’s even logical. So a glass of some alcohol before, will be a good idea too. Alcohol will cause that your weins will expand a little bit.
It would be quite painful though, to bleed to death.
not really. if you cut both wrists, you bleed out pretty fast,
eww. messy, well not messy but, red bath water, ick.
i love the sight of blood in water. love it so much.
How deep you have to cut? now i see that I wrote a veins with “w” I have to improve my english. lol
i think it’s cool to just drop a little into water and watch it spread.
hahahah
I don’t mean to intrude but I have to say it’s good that wishicould, Entity and whiteylover care enough about the seriousness of this site and the issues on it to sift out those who simply don’t help matters. And if its any consolation justalvaro is Spanish, I think – take that how you like but I know how I’ve taken that.
And incidentally why is he calling everyone little girl? He sounds a bit like Jack John Ripley
Just in case anyone’s wondering Pharmocology is the study of drugs – which is far short of understanding depression. Sigh… some people are just too arrogant and ignorant to understand.
^Amen, J.F.D.
thank you. i really appreciate people who understand that taking medicine doesnt fix things. thank you.
Thank you J.F.D.
Thanks. See, this helps people feel better than anything – talking about it without hiding behind psychological terms or religious jargon. Saying it’s not okay will go further than saying it is okay. I know your appreciation is making me feel a lot better than I do sometimes.
Well I’m happy to be thankful for your words, therefore making you feel better 🙂
is it me or has this conversation got happier and more “chatty” as its gone along. Im a natural pessimist (hence being on this site) but im starting to realise all we need is each other, people to listen, people to talk to, people to shout at…namedly justalvaro haha
By the way whiteylover ive seen your post a lot recently and you seem like a realy nice supporting person, i cant understand how you find yourself on this site, good luck cause you deserve it
The fact that it has become as you say is testimony to the fact that you’re right – people on this site need each other to help our bruised feelings. Don’t think it’s because of insensitivity, but instead think of it being that it is helping people. Everyone on this site shares a common connection – and that’s our feelings. A lot of people don’t have that – they have a connection through their spirits, their intellect, their blood etc. So if a conversation gets “chatty” then it’s because we’ve realized that connection and we get something we can’t find in our secluded lives from it. But you do bring up a good point ye ol’ pessimist (lol).
Hear, hear, to the shouting at the Spanish Pharmicist and to whiteylover, who indeed is a Saint of the day.
— sorry if I sound dramatic, but that’s my way of ranting and letting it out.
Haha, umm thanks guys. I consider myself to be caring but I have many struggles too. I found this website when I googled suicide stories. It was the first thing that popped up and this site is now my number one addiction/go to place.. I don’t actually consider myself the “Saint of the Day” but thanks, haha
Rach
I thought the namely justalavro thing was hilarious by the way 😛
Someone once told me that success was the best revenge. So, if this is true, work on getting yourself healthy again. Don’t let what that Ass has done bring you down. Know in your heart and mind that you are better than him, stronger than him and a winner, which he is obviously not. Keep negative people at a very far distance from yourself. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, it’s a slow process, I know – only too well, unfortunately. But just keep holding on one hour at a time. The longer you can keep your food down, keep from cutting, keep from harming yourself – period is another hour and day that you win. Hold onto every once of hope you can. Obviously you have many unseen friends on this sight that are supporting you. You are not alone in your pain – I know it feels like that too much of the time – there are people who understand. We live in a society that does not understand mental illness – this is bad for us. Just keep surviving. You have the strength – be the shining light for others. Good luck – be kind and gentle with yourself.